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Taking Action
Taking Action
By Rinatta Paries
Published December 2001
"Right" action defined:
Taking the right action is what feels right
according to your own heart and intuition-not
anyone else's standards. To distinguish
the right action from a "should,"
use the following rule of thumb: a should
may feel dull, certainly unexciting. The
right action, according to your heart, always
feels freeing and energizing.
Have you ever really wanted something,
identified what to do in order to get it,
and yet never took the necessary action?
This happens to all of us occasionally-whether
trying to lose weight, better manage finances,
improve relationships, etc.
When it comes to taking action, people
are often held back from progress by a number
of myths. Take a look at the following six
myths to see if any are barriers to your
progress, and learn how you can get past
them to move forward in your life.
Simply thinking
about the right action will magically create
change
Some people get stuck in the thinking stage
and mistake it for action. It is a fallacy
that keeping the thoughts alive will automatically
accomplish the goal. Discover the right
action and take it.
Example: Mary spends a lot of time thinking
and trying to figure out all aspects of
her troubled relationship. She is still
thinking, and still in a troubled relationship.
On the contrary, Susan enrolled in a seminar
to learn communication skills and applies
them on an ongoing basis. Her relationship
has greatly improved as a result.
Discussing
a problem will be enough to create the solution
While it's true that discussing a problem
is an important step in discovering the
right action, it is not a substitute for
action. You must take action in order to
create change.
Example: John spends a lot of time complaining
to everyone about his troubled relationship.
He loves getting everyone's opinion. Some
ideas sound good, but he has not taken any
action to change his situation.
Peter, on the other hand, hired a coach
to find out how to improve his relationship.
He has worked out an action plan for his
relationship and personal growth. He is
consistently taking action steps in both
areas and getting great results.
Knowing the
right action is enough to get the result
Knowing what you should do is great. But
it is only one of the steps. Take action
to get results.
Example: Rebecca is very knowledgeable
about relationships and personal growth.
Unfortunately, she does not apply the information
she knows and her relationships do not last.
She is reading more books, hoping that change
will happen soon.
Lori was having trouble in her marriage.
She read books, contacted a coach and a
therapist. She got herself and her husband
involved in couples' work. They apply what
they have learned consistently. Their marriage
has greatly improved.
Personal
and relationship growth takes a lot of time
It is true that personal work and growth
take time. But it does not take a huge amount
of time. Right action, such as communicating,
journaling, and writing letters, could take
as little as 15 to 30 minutes a day. Find
the right action and take it.
Example: Betty realizes that if she
were to write her feelings in a journal,
she would be able to express the anger she
feels toward her ex lover. But she thinks
it would take a lot of time that she doesn't
have.
Jennifer takes 30 minutes each day to journal.
In the past three months she has written
letters to her ex-boyfriends. She does not
intend to send them, but they help her to
feel complete. She feels lighter and much
less angry.
There is
a magic cure
Sometimes we resist doing what it takes
to get where we want to go. We look for
the magic formula, or the magic person to
make it all better. It would be less painful
to take the action in front of us, no matter
how difficult it seems.
Example: Jim goes from one workshop
to another in search of the key to his relationship
woes. He reads lots of books on relationships.
He does not apply much of what he reads
and spends his time at the workshops telling
people how much he already knows. He is
still unhappy.
Don, having done some work with a therapist
and then a coach, finally realized he would
have to trust a woman in a relationship
if he is to have the family he dreams of.
He has faced his fears about trusting a
woman and is now happily married.
Doing the
right action on occasion is enough
If you only take right action occasionally
you will reap slight or no benefits. Only
when you consistently take the right action
will you get to the results you want.
Example: Andrew knows by focusing
on his partner at least once a day for a
few minutes his relationship becomes much
more satisfactory. Often, he just doesn't
feel like it. Sometimes his relationship
is great. Sometimes it is a struggle.
Alex has agreed with his partner to give
her some undivided attention every day.
When he does, she feels loved and is supportive
and loving toward him. He has done it consistently
95% of the time. His partner now deals well
with the few times he can't focus on her.
The overall quality of the relationship
has greatly improved.
Do what you know must be done to create
the life and relationships you want now!
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
| (c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002 |
This article was
originally published by Rinatta Paries in the Relationship Coach Newsletter,
one of many relationship resources found at www.WhatItTakes.com.
Other highlights include relationship advice, quizzes, relationship
coaching and classes. Become a True Love Magnet(TM)! |
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