Bells, Gargoyles, and University

by H.E. Whitney, Jr.

University Archaisms: Campus Bells, Gargoyles, and Reflections on the University’s Purpose

welcometoflorida1The central campus bell at my university clangs promptly at 8am (beginning of the school/work day), noon (lunchtime), and 5pm (end of the work day, although classes still begin and last long after that hour). A different campus bell that is off in the distance softly chimes each hour and each half hour between those three all-important hours.

I have often wondered whether the university really needs a campus bell to mark specific times during the day since virtually everyone on campus—professor and student alike–has access to time through cellular devices.  (I would perhaps, in a less sober state, argue that the cell phone is probably even more ubiquitous than time itself.)  Moreover, the campus bell’s marking of time appears somewhat superfluous when we consider that the human body has its own internal chronometer (e.g., the lunch hour stomach roar or morning caffeine withdrawal) to direct our actions.

Perhaps the real reason for the campus bell is not simply to signal specific times throughout the day but to provide a rather sentimental image of the university’s religious past. Obviously, most listeners would think of a church when hearing the campus bell. But would this perception be valid for universities or colleges that have had no historical affiliation with any particular religious congregation or sect? This image would be particularly ironic for an institution dedicated to the pursuit of truth when there is nothing in its history to signify an affiliation with a religious past. While my institution does have such an affiliation in its history with religion (the university originally began as a seminary), other universities that make prodigious use of campus bells–universities whose origins or history have had no religious roots whatsoever—seem to be promoting a false image of themselves and their history.

464541gargoylefountain0Gargoyles populate my university’s campus (probably more prominently than students) and some of them are built into the sidewalk to serve as barricades for limiting vehicle access to walkways. One of the original uses of gargoyles during the age of Gothic architecture was to serve as water conduits on building tops. So there is some awkwardness in seeing gargoyles springing from the pavement instead of howling or spewing water from the roofs of campus buildings.

Additionally, one of the important uses of the gargoyle during the age of Gothic architecture was to scare off evil spirits. Yet I seriously doubt universities that adorn their landscapes or buildings with gargoyles wish to be even seen as postulating the existence of spiritual realms since we are so far along now in the age of force, gravity, and quarks. (Ironic, isn’t it, that science has perhaps enabled us to discard outmoded occult powers and entities for its own!)

The archaisms of the campus bell and the gargoyle raise several questions. Should we think of the university as a monastic institution? If we do, then such a thought would seem to suggest that the university was a secluded, regimented sort of place where the study of scripture and the striving for the religious ideal were dominant goals. We certainly don’t have anything close to that anymore in academia: modern universities in America have for the most part become skill factories and groupings of social networks geared to prepare students for the work life instead of for the next life. In many universities that have dominant business and/or technical programs, students in those programs will probably have taken little or no classes in religion or the human disciplines for the matter.

In light of business world criticisms of the humanities disciplines, should we be concerned that universities now want to limit the exposure of their students to the human disciplines by requiring undergraduates take a bare minimum of “mandatory” or “required” classes that involve writing and/or critical thinking?

It is one thing to make writing a “requirement”: advertising any class as a requirement generally frightens the student into taking the class. And when they finally take the class (sometimes after much delay), they put little effort into it (sometimes only barely passing).

It’s another thing to make such subjects appealing as pleasures for their own sake. Universities need to show students how writing well can not only enhance their lives materially (obviously no employer wants to hire someone who can’t put together a sentence) but also provide a genuine source of intellectual pleasure. This would also be true of critical thinking which teaches students not only how to detect fallacious reasoning but to craft valid, sound arguments. The problem is that the all too familiar routines and character of modern life–with its churning, whirring, push button, bleeping, pop up, point and click efficiency–often resists critical thinking and literariness. Modernity, with its obsession with technological domination and instant satisfaction, has perhaps relegated the very idea of intellectual pleasure to the dustbin of archaisms.

I guess this is just a midday mental meandering. Or a tea-time rambling: depending on what time your internal chronometer tells you it is.

H.E. Whitney, Jr. is a PhD student in history at Florida State University. H.E’s fields of study are the history of science, intellectual history, and technology and culture. H.E. is originally from Suffolk, Virginia but has called California, Ohio, North Carolina, Massachusetts, and Florida home at some point. H.E. has taught philosophy and graphic design/multimedia studies at the college level and enjoy creating digital art when not pontificating on scientific, cultural, or historical matters

Vulva U

By Leonardo Calcagno

The best way to for a guy to know the secrets of womanhood is to go to school. Just like some women need to get closer with their sexuality because of social or personal repression, men also can benefit from a bit of libido lessons. Sexuality is part of humanity and we are all very horny all the time, especially guys who, alas, don’t know shit about women. I went and talked to Dorrie Lane, the director of Vulva University. She will helps us refresh our sex lives and make us all vulvalutionaries. Her classes are mostly for women, but guys are welcome to join.

Leonardo: What’s Vulva University?

Dorrie Lane: Vulva University is an education site for sex through the eyes of women. It is primarily focussed on women’s issues around sex, all kinds of sex. All of our instructors are women. The 3 R’s of Vulva University are: Refresh your libido, Rejuvenate your sexual desire, and Realize your sexual potential.

…and House O’Chicks?

House O’Chicks is my company I started 10 years ago, to respond to the negative images of women as sexual beings. I am producing a video encyclopedia of “Sex Through the Eyes of Women,” to help dispel those negative images for women. I also created the Wondrous Vulva Puppet to give expression to our sexual feelings.

Is their something wrong with girls and their sexuality?

There is nothing wrong with girls and their sexuality, it’s society’s attitude, the media’s influence on body images of women and the way sex or sexuality is referenced by the powerful moral and media machines. Girls are getting the wrong or no message at all.

If you want to enroll to your university, what are the conditions?

Enrollment is free, and open to everyone, you register and select how you want to receive the classes, either online with a password into the lessons or through your email. You can select any class you want. We have a discussion board for each class too.

How can women develop their sexual potential?

First by not feeling negative or shameful about sex, then to experience the positive and self-healing aspects of sex. So many women are sexual in very limiting ways, many to satisfy others and not themselves. Many are limiting their experiences because of the “whore/madonna” label, (not the pop icon, she is vulvalutionary) or guilt and shame. Sex is used as a weapon too, which is contrary to the love potential.

Can you give us some pointers in masturbation?

Sure, the first pointer is the ability to understand your body through masturbation, how it responds to different touch in different places. Another area of exploration is the process of healing yourself through masturbation. I’m talking about menstrual cramps, sadness, headaches, common aches and pains not cancers and serious diseases, I don’t want you to get the impression that masturbation is that powerful, but on a deeper level, self loving is the basis for a loving life. In the masturbation class, which I teach, I stress the importance of self acceptance, of releasing shame, and of course plenty of techniques and resources.

…and the G-Spot?

A woman needs to know she has one first, then she needs to know how to keep it healthy. The G-spot is highly controversial because the medical books that most med. schools use haven’t been updated in well over 50 years and the sexual anatomy of women is outdated, so of course the 2-3 hours of sexual anatomy med. students receive is no great asset to providing good information and therefore, supporting its existence.

…and your class “Lesbian Sex 101″?

This class is an introduction to Lesbian sex, the teachers, Mikaya Heart and Kyree Klimist are sensitive to and speak to women who are curious about the social and emotional aspects of being with a woman sexually. The advance courses go into more detail on the sexual levels and techniques. Again, all the courses are presented in a non-judgemental way.

Do you think that men have a lack of sexual education?

I think EVERYONE has a lack of sexual education.

Do you have any famous Vulva student’s?

I don’t reveal my student’s names or identity.

What does a lack of sexual knowledge do to men and women?

It restrains your potential, it creates confusion on many levels, for women, who equate sex with love, it can be emotionally damaging. For men, who equate sex with power, a lack of sexual knowledge can leave them powerless.

Where can we enroll?

You can enroll at http://www.houseochicks.com/

Leonardo Calcagno, well know writer in Montreal Canada. He’s been writing for local Canadian, Americano and European e-zines and zines in French, Spanish and English for almost 5 years. More known to get hate letters from right-wing housewives and to get into fights with promoters who don’t let him interview bands! You will mostly see him eating tofu dogs and drinking Guinness with his laptop in Montreal writing another article about politics, music and sex. Graduated with a bachelor degree in International Politics with a minor on international law… his parents are still wondering why he took on a life of sex writer! Tattooed with Che, Husker Du and ARA! Played chino-Hispanic punk on Les Kalisses D’immigrant, Trash Blues on Les Tetes Reduites and now stoner rock on Your Sister ! He contributes on Freezerbox.com, Kerozen, Indymedia.org, Stooky.com, Eroticandy.com, Biotech Montreal Action, QuebecTel, Zona de Obra and other zines!

For more of Leonardo’s work, please visit www.montrealnightguide.com and www.montrealconfidential.com