When an event and a moment collide.
By Sig Shonholtz
For most of us, the phrase “what a coincidence” is simply a phrase like any cliché. I was still in high school when I started thinking about it more seriously. It was the result of an unusual event. I was driving home from school and noticed a sign for a real-estate company, called Red Carpet Realtors. I admit I was a little bored so I started thinking about what might be good to go with Red Carpet. A few minutes later, I was stopped at a signal waiting to turn left, I noticed a little piece of paper fluttering in the wind by my open window, it seemed like it was begging to come in. A moment later a car drove by and it was swept upwards, it floated down and again tried to enter my open window, by now I was transfixed on it, again a car drove by and the little piece of paper was once more swept away. This time though it fluttered like a whirling dervish, came through my window, and settled on my lap. What could be so important I wondered, I turned it over and to my amazement it said Red Carpet Auto Parks. I looked around, looked up, got goose bumps, and wondered what the meaning was?
I soon found myself studying the phenomenon of coincidence. In the early 1970′s, spiritual interpretations of everything, were common, so I looked for some deep meaning in the event. I spoke to some friends, older than myself, and they said it was meaningful.
Some say there are no coincidences. I was that way for many years. But like the shifting of the earth on its axis, over time, I began to wonder, what if there is no meaning, and things happen for no reason. Over time I took this perspective, which is that there are only coincidences. Since there are billions of people and billions of moments every day, inevitably some things will happen that are extraordinary. We call these events coincidences. What is a coincidence? A coincidence is when a moment and an event collide.
We tend to think that all coincidences are the same, they are not. After several years of observing very unusual events in my own life I decided to break the idea of coincidence down into some basic groups.
There are two basic types of coincidences, those we manifest and those that occur. The example above is a manifested coincidence. But many coincidences are just occurences. For example, once while on business in New York I met a woman in the morning and chatted with her. In the late afternoon, I took a cab all the way across town, I was going to meet Andy Warhol. I exited my cab and bumped into the same woman on a corner, 8 hours later. I told her that it was our destiny to meet and invited her to join me and meet Andy. She looked at me with surprise and said no thank you, she must have thought I was stalking her but I was surprised at her lack of curiosity.
Oddly at the same time I was thinking about the different types of coincidences, I mentioned it to Jennifer, a friend of mine, and discovered that she had also been thinking about different types of coincidences. I found that was an amazing coincidence in itself. One special instance left her looking up the word lemming in the dictionary. It seemed she had missed this word her entire life. However the next day she came upon the same word after having just learned it. Of course we could say that learning that word made it more available to her. We decided to call all coincidences relating to learning and knowledge a Lemming coincidence.
There are thirteen types of coincidences.
- Most coincidences are “basic” like bumping into a friend unexpectedly or some are “simple” like thinking about someone then seeing them by accident.
- There are coincidences of nature are called “miracles”.
- There are coincidences of learning, language and knowledge called “Lemmings”.
- There are coincidences we call “synchronicity” which are related to events of music or actions but not about people.
- Most coincidences are about people, places and events, they are called “Manya’s”.
- There are “complex” coincidences, which come about even though the odds are astronomical.
- There are “compound” coincidences, which are in effect a coincidence inside of a coincidence.
- There are those coincidences, which are not ours, but we are part of them
- The most common coincidence is the “undiscovered” one. Imagine you are wondering about someone and in fact they may actually be in the aisle next to you at the market but you did not notice them.
- The most important type of coincidence is the one we call “serendipity”. This is the most important because it is reserved for the area that determines our destiny; who we fall in love with and how we choose our careers.
- Luck is the moment of coincidence, but what makes the moment “lucky” is what we do with the opportunity.
- Prayers being answered, wishes coming true and manifestations realized are all forms of coincidence depending on how the world occurs to us.
- 9/11 is a complex coincidence because thousands of people failed to notice things that could have stopped the bombers at any juncture but failed to notice unusual things around them.
One of my more unusual coincidences happened in the late 1970′s. I was running out the door, late for an auction taking place at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills. As I ran out the door I picked up the Los Angeles Times and glanced at the front page. The Dalai lama was visiting Los Angeles . I wondered, “What would it be like to meet the Dalai lama”? I jumped into my car and sped away.
I arrived late for the auction and ran up the stairs four steps at a time. When I reached the top I was nearly airborne and realized that there was an imposing looking man in my way. As a matter of fact, he was standing with two robed men on either side of him. And what is going on? Why do they have white gowns and why are they going for their swords? Oh my gosh, it’s the Dalai lama and those are his body guards. OH NO, they think I am an assassin. The Dalia lama had a very concerned look on his face. He probably thought I was sent by the Chinese to do him in. I grabbed the railing as hard as I could and came tumbling down to an abrupt stop at the midway landing. The two guards and the Dalai Lama himself ran down to see if I was OK and they all picked me up. We all had a big laugh and I mumbled “sorry Mr. Lama, I am late for an auction”. It took me a moment to realize that I had actually just met the Dalai lama, just 30 minutes after I asked the question, “What would it be like to meet the Dalai lama?”
I quietly walked into the auction room, but was surprised to learn that the auction had happened the day before.
Another unusual coincidence happened over an insect. One lazy day in Venice Beach California I was sitting outside my neighborhood coffee house. Along came a large aggressive flying Scarab Beetle. It was beautiful, iridescent green and about a half-inch long. It was so aggressive that people were diving underneath their tables. It decided to land on my table and I put a glass over it. I slid a piece of paper over the top and picked it up. It was ferocious. It looked at me through the glass and buzzed its head off. The glass was pulsating. I could almost feel its anger at being caught. Now, you probably do not know this (unless you read my story about bees) but I like to collect bugs. However, I will only collect them when they have died. But this beautiful Scarab Beetle was so exquisite that I wanted it. In the end though I decided to release it. It flew out of the glass, looked right at me with a rage and a glare and flew away.
I lived across the street in a condo complex on the second floor, down an opened hallway, and down a walkway. When I got home that evening I was surprised (more shocked) to find that in the middle of my door mat dead as could be was a beautiful iridescent Scarab Beetle, laying face down. To be sure I was a little surprised, was it the same Scarab Beetle? They are very rare in my town, but it did not really matter. It was a gift and I still have it. It is the centerpiece of by small insect collection.
My last coincidence is perhaps the strangest one, even though all the examples I have shared are unique. It started rather like the Red Carpet story. I was driving to work one day while listening to Dennis Prager, a conservative moralist, on the radio. He would pose a moral dilemma in our society and ask callers to call and voice their opinions. Every now and again he would actually change his position on the radio if someone made a more powerful argument.
Occasionally he would ask his assistant Manya to take down a caller’s number so he could follow up with them later on. I became curious about Manya, I wondered what she looked like and how old she was, and if she was funny? Of course, just like the Red Carpet story it was a silly exercise because I was certain I was never going to meet her.
That evening I left work and went home to my condominium; we were having a homeowners meeting that evening, and it was a ruckus event. We were arguing about the termites that had nested in the walls. (See the bee story). I was sitting next to a woman who I had seen for a few years in the building, we always said hello, but had never really spoken. After a while I asked her what she did, she said she worked for a radio station. Then I asked her which one, KABC she said, then I asked whom she worked for, Dennis Prager was her answer. Finally I asked her name, Manya she said. Here she was right next to me, the woman that I had spent my entire morning day-dreaming about. I told her that I had just been thinking about her but I do not think she really understood what I meant. Anyway, that is why I call events about people Manyas.
There are nearly 20 million people in the Los Angeles area. She could have lived anywhere. What were the chances that she lived in my building? It occurred to me afterward that I could have sat next to her but never learned her name that would have been the undiscovered coincidence.
The one coincidence that we are all familiar with is Serendipity. Typically, we do not think of them as coincidence but they really are. I consider that they are reserved for two categories in our lives; romance and career. A Serendipitous event sets us on our course for our careers, something happens and we go down a road, it might be a good road or it might be a bad road, but a road it is. Similarly, a serendipitous event introduces us to somebody and we fall in love and have a family, or do not depending on the situation. It determines our destiny.
I have chosen to share only a few of my coincidences, but to be honest, I have many others that are at least as unique as the ones above.
There are things we learn, there are things we are taught and there are things we discover. The things we discover are always sweeter.
I have discovered that when we invest ourselves in an idea or a concept, things occur to us. Discovery is discovering. The longer we think about something, the deeper we go with an idea the more we understand, and the more possibilities we have. What I have learned about coincidence is that by continuously investing myself in curiosity and inquiry the more unusual the things are that will happen to me.
For many years after the red carpet experience I took a very spiritual position to my coincidences. At some time I began to wonder, what if there is no meaning to them? So I started to consider them simply as events that occured because I was day dreaming all the time about things and had a vivid imagination. My pendulum is now swinging in the other direction and I am once again taking a more spiritual view of them. I am beginning to understand that there are mysteries in the universe that we cannot comprehend.
What is the meaning of a coincidence? It is the meaning we give it. For me the meaning of a coincidence is that it has become part of life. I call it my hobby. We are all S.E.E’s, which means self-entertaining entities, so let’s indulge ourselves in thoughts and ideas. The nice thing about it is that I never know when something extraordinary will happen.







