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By Kim Knode

The author and the Queens

The stereotype of beauty queens as Barbies with silicon breasts stuffed into swimsuits topped off with tiaras is starting to loosen its self-righteous grip in my mind.  The pageant gals I spoke with: Mrs. United States 2001, Dana Opsincs; Mrs. Globe 2001, Stacey Cooper; and Mrs. US Globe 2001, Becky Coomes are well-rounded women who are as different as well, Barbie, Skipper and Kelly!  For example, Opsincs thrills to the roar of engines revving up for a death-defying chase around the NASCAR racetrack.  Cooper loves chasing yellow tennis balls around the court in hopes of adding another golden trophy to her collection.  Mississippi born and bred Becky Coomes delights in touring her state giving ‘I-think-I-can’ motivational speeches to school children.

Heart smarts and relationship savoir-faire is what impressed me most in the interviews (besides the rhinestones!) If nothing else, the ladies deserve endurance medals.  Each has spent over 4,745 days of their lives with the same man.  All three have sailed past their crystal anniversaries. Impressive too is their candor about navigating through choppy waters stirred up by arguments about money and children.  (None of them mentioned sex.)

The lady who prides herself on luxurious golden locks and the crown of Mrs. United States, 17-year marriage veteran, Dana Opsincs confesses, “There have been times that I’ve been so mad at my husband that I could spit.”

So how does she resolve the differences? The exuberant lass who I met on stage shortly after receiving the title of Mrs. United States 2001 disappears for a second. I hear a small sigh on the other end of the telephone.  “I’m not a fighter.  I am the kind that will clam up for two or three days then talk things out.”  She declares that, ” part of our success as a couple is our ability to step back and look at how petty things were that we were arguing about.”

Speaking up is no problem for Mrs. Globe 2001, Stacey Cooper.  (Perhaps her tennis training prepares her to step up to the net fearlessly and face challenges.)  In between bites of green salad at a fund-raising luncheon for abused women, Cooper tells me, “If Tim and I have disagreements or things we don’t like about each other  – we just say it. And then work it out.”

I question the open declaration or dislike of a mate’s behavior.  Cooper  (wearing a light lime suit which shows off her tan) looks directly at me with flashing brown eyes. “You must tell them,” says the 16-year marriage veteran.  She explains, ” No marriage is perfect.  You have a commitment to work it out. I think people give up too easily nowadays.”

As Cooper munches her Boston lettuce, I ask about communicating differences in front of children. “You have to stand together on every issue with your children.  You can argue points behind closed doors,” she says.

Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick who have conducted hundreds of seminars on the subject of relationship over the course of their 20-year marriage agree. “Presenting a united front to children is exceedingly important if you want to teach them that relationship is about cooperation,” says Dr. Ron.  He adds, “Good communication and mutual understanding are the keys to winning the game.”

Mrs. US Globe 2001, Becky Coomes embraces the Hulnicks’ sentiment. The Mississippi beauty claims that compassion is an essential part of keeping her 13-year marriage on an even keel.  For instance, her husband, Ken, sometimes gets hot under the collar about the pageant queen’s penchant for clothes shopping and purchasing video games for her son.  Instead of exploding and reacting, This Southern Belle says, “I try to be more understanding of his needs and wishes.”  Dressed in a fire engine red mini with matching jacket, shoes and purse in the lobby of a luxury Palm Springs hotel (the morning after snatching the Mrs. US Globe 2001 scepter), she explains, “Ken would be happy with nothing.  He was brought up having very little.  You see, he came from a large family with 12 brothers and sisters.”

The Coomes Family

So how does the couple regain harmony after a heated discussion?  Coomes coolly states, “We talk it out.”   She asserts that, “Women in the South are a lot stronger then people may give them credit for.”  Mrs. US Globe 2001 continues, “Yes, we are submissive.  But we want a man to support our dreams.” She flashes her pearly whites, “Or, you know, it’s just not going to work.”

Coomes continues, “From the time, “I won “Most Beautiful” at Heinz Community College, I knew I wanted to be Mrs. Mississippi.  I never had the dream to be Miss Mississippi.  I always wanted the all-American Family.”

Some might say Coomes realized her goal of the all-American family and American dream. Past pageant wins include Mrs. Mississippi America 1991, Mrs. Mississippi United States 1993, Mrs. Mississippi International 1998, Mrs. Mississippi All American. Her latest title is, of course, Mrs. US Globe 2001. In addition she helped her husband expand his snack distribution company to an empire. Proudly she states, “The business does well over million dollars a year sales in quarters and dollars. You know, just through those vending machines!”

Also, Coomes is now able to greet her son at the door after school. “I was always torn between home and work,” she explains. “So I moved my  (formal wear rental) business home when my lease came due.”  (Becky’s Kloset was created as a reaction to aspiring beauty and prom queens coveting Coomes’ pageant gowns.)

Conversely, Cooper  (who is fit and fabulous looking at 40) recently stopped serving “crudités” to her children after school because she went back to work.  All four of her progeny urged her to accept an invitation from New York’s Ford Agency to return to her modeling career. And what was her partner’s reaction? Mrs. Globe 2001 proudly proclaims, “My husband has never squashed anything that I wanted to do.”

However, the athletic Coopers are able to keep their commitment to maintain a solid family unit by traveling together. “Last week, my 13-year-old had a national basketball tournament.  We flew where she had to go.  Two weeks earlier, another one was also in a sports thing.  My 15-year-old does dance competitions around the country.” The professional model/pageant queen smiles and says, “We all support each other.”

Psychologist, Robert Jameson  (who is married to the owner of a successful Santa Monica skin care salon) declares that, “the advantage of couples with common goals is like a corporation with a mission statement.”   When conflict occurs, couples can steer their Love Boat back on course by remembering their mutual interests.

Indeed, car racing is a fascination Opsincs and her husband, Bill have shared for 17 years.  Mrs. United States 2001 and her beloved also revel in swooshing down snowy slopes together. “Bill and I love to ski. In fact, we’d love to move to Colorado,” she says.

“So why are you still in Florida?”  I ask.

“Well, we both have these career paths going on.” Opsincs explains, “He’s got his electrical business.  Plus I’ve got things that I do like the pageants and PR for (race car) team Rensi.”  She enthusiastically adds, “We’re both working hard and saving so we can live in Colorado.”

Certainly expending energy and effort to realize heart visions are nothing new for Opsincs, Coomes and Cooper. Strutting the catwalk with confidence in Atlantic City or anywhere else is precipitated by months – years of disciplined diets and exercise regimes.

Perhaps the ladies’ diligence lends itself to a willingness to communicate, have compassion, resolve differences, discover and support every family member’s passions so they can manifest dreams of a happy home.  These are hardly the attributes or accessories of a plastic Barbie doll.  Maybe a sentiment from Coomes’ poem for Mississippi school children is right, “…For out of the world we find, Success begins with a fellow’s will – It’s all in the state of mind.”

Kim Knode’s interview articles focusing on artists, celebrities and dance champions have been published in various print and on-line publications.

By Kim Knode

The author with Mrs. US Globe 2001

The diamond-studded tiara is placed on the pageant queen’s coiffure.  The crowd goes crazy. The other contestants gather around with congratulations. At age twenty, my reaction to this oft-played TV scene was criticism.  “Why the emphasis on looks?” Two decades later as wrinkles appear I have an answer. Looking good makes you feel good. Or at least – it helps in the self-esteem department.

Today, tricks are welcome to conceal the signs of living – crying and laughing – and dieting to and fro between dress sizes. So on my quest to reflect the inner exquisiteness (which I am more in touch with in my forties), I plied several plus- thirty Mrs. pageant victors to discover the secrets of the tiara set.

Encountering Stacey Cooper, Mrs. Globe 2001 in California was encouraging for those of us concerned with weight.  Cooper is a far cry from a skinny Kate Moss. She is, however, a steadily working statuesque Eileen Ford model.  Among her credits: “I was the tall brunette girl, Danny, on the Michael J. Fox Pepsi commercial,” says the super-fit model.

And as if a tiara and scepter are not enough Cooper touts a Cleo. (Cleos are kind of an Emmy for commercials.)

Competition thrills Cooper. “I love pageants. I think it is fabulous to be able to train and get in shape. ” Cooper declares, “It’s like any other sport.”

In fact, the beauty queen keeps strong and lean with loads of aerobic exercise. She pursues her preferred sport of tennis with almost as much passion as her ambitious Mrs. Globe platform of assisting abused women through the Women In Need (WIN) Foundation. Cooper is ranked as a 4.0 player with the USTA (United States Tennis Association).

Instead of diet sodas, nuts give Cooper the capacity to energetically navigate between WIN work, sports, modeling and motherhood. “I always keep almonds and stuff in my car because I don’t like drive-thrus. To me that is like hurting yourself,” says the model Mrs. Globe.

Cooper admits that, “Every once in a while I’ll have something fancy. But most of the time – just simple food – just healthy, simple, natural. I do a lot of vegetables.” She adds, “And I drink water – a ton, ton, ton.”

On the tennis court, the beauty queen often trades in her scepter for a water bottle in one hand and sunscreen in the other.  She also replaces her tiara with a protective visor.

“To avoid cancer?” I ask.

“For aging!” replies Cooper. Eager to educate me, she explains that women should buy sunscreen that contains zinc oxide or titanium dioxide in the top three ingredients. Cooper adds that, ” I would also suggest the sunscreen on the hands and arms. A lot of times people try to make the face look good but forget about other exposed areas.”

Mrs. U.S. Globe 2001, Becky Coomes (who will be competing for the Mrs. Globe 2002 title and Cooper’s crown) says that her Mississippi grandmother’s elixir keeps her complexion flawless. (Savvy to the idea that a picture is worth a thousand words, Avon advertisers chose Coomes for their Retroactive Age Reversal Cream campaign.) Apparently, granny’s recipe is also partially responsible for Mrs. U.S. Globe’s Scarlet O’Hara waist.

Living up to her reputation in Mississippi as a champion of community service, Coomes agrees to share the winning ingredients with me. “You take one-tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, two tablespoons of honey and dissolve them in water.” She adds, “You know I’ve told women this. They drink the vinegar and honey with only a smidgen of water! ” She scrunches up her face with a giggle. “It’s important to take a big glass of water and stir it around.” Coomes also advises, “Drink it with a straw. You don’t want the vinegar to eat the enamel off your teeth.”

“And it helps with weight control?” I ask.

The southern belle whispers, “Oh it’s so good for your body because it will flush out the impurities.” She continues with a furtive smile, “And the vinegar will literally eat what you eat.” She adds, “Of course honey is good for your hair too.” Like a trial lawyer making her final statement she triumphantly concludes, “And the value of vinegar dates back to biblical times.”

I ask Coomes (who looks more like Barbie than a woman who has given birth to a child) if she eats three times a day. “Usually,” she replies. (The beauty queen even eats cheesecake.) She swears that the key to her enviable figure is moderation and daily shots of her maternal grandmother’s drink.

“Also, I get up early in the morning and I love to jog at our local walking park,” says Mrs. U.S. Globe. “When I get back home, I’ll work my biceps and my triceps with a weight bar. You know the one that has a crinkle and bent in it?”

Mrs. United States 2001, Dana Lee Opsincs’ methods of squeezing into a swimsuit are slightly more conventional.

“I went on a high-protein, low-carb diet,” explains Opsincs. “I lost fifteen pounds,” she proudly proclaims.  “Egg whites and eating something every two hours is my secret,” says Mrs. United States. “And working out at least three times a week. I also hired a trainer.”

As for her luxurious cascade of blonde, Opsincs confesses, “Oh! I hardly do anything at all.” As an afterthought she adds, “Well, I try not to blow dry it too long.”

By following the tips of beauty queens – egg whites, elixir or almonds and sunscreen advice – we may not all end up garnering tiaras. We may, however, win the accolades of our husbands. Most importantly, stop worrying long enough about our looks so we can pause and appreciate our individual inner beauty strengths.

Kim Knode’s interview articles focusing on artists, celebrities and dance champions have been published in various print and on-line publications.    See more of Kim’s work at www.kimknode.com

By Kim Knode

Mrs. California International 2000, Gail Arias, one of the final ten in the Mrs. U.S. International Pageant is ready to hold court in her living room. She sits with perfect posture on the edge of her easy chair. Her thick dark hair minus a tiara is combed to silky smoothness. Not a stray hair or split end is in sight. What’s her secret? “I’ve got virgin hair. I’ve never dyed it.”

The red polish on her fingers reveals not a single chip. Manicured hands rest on top of long muscular legs, which are crossed in lady like fashion. I scan her resume and ask about her athletic prowess. The pageant queen speaks in even tones but her blue eyes betray a hint of rebellion. “I was a tomboy for a long time. In junior high, I beat all the boys and girls in Track.”

Jamie Arias, her husband laughs, “That’s why it took me ten years to catch her!” In marriage, evidently he expresses the same ardent dedication to his wife as he did in the chase. Mrs. U.S. International Pageant judges chose him for the honored title of, “Most Devoted Husband.”

At age thirteen, pageants were the farthest thing from the current Mrs. California’s thoughts. As an adolescent she longed to compete in the Olympics and receive a subscription to Prevention Magazine.  She got her subscription. At about the same time, the precocious girl discovered dancing. What about her Olympian dream? “My parents finally convinced me that it was a hard life.”

And dancing? “Well, I looked at what dance champions were getting paid. So I chose aerobics as my vocation and dancing as my avocation.” As a young adult, in addition to owning and operating an aerobics studio, the athlete created and promoted her own line of vitamins and protein powder. “I have a practical mind, a very practical mind,” declares Mrs. California International.

Her aerobic students actually pushed her into the professional world of dance. Mothers of Miss Teenage USA and Miss Junior Olympics singled out Gail Knowlton (later Gail Arias) as the right person to choreograph routines and coach their children. She designed a winning ice skating dance routine for Miss Junior Olympics. Miss Teenage USA took first place with her floor exercise and artistic gymnastics. The reigning Mrs. California International reflects on her experiences with the girls and says, “It was more than choreographing the dance routine. I think the extra time I took to go over make-up, hair and wardrobe added extra touches of confidence.”

Succeeding in all her endeavors, including marriage, seems to be as easy as breathing in and out for Gail Arias. Her resume foxtrots through accomplishments ranging from winning Crystal Light Aerobic Championships to dancing Tango with her husband for an American Airlines ad to performing with the Beach Boys at the Shrine Auditorium.

As part of a husband and wife dance team, the pageant blue blood continues to accumulate trophies. The lady of the house leads me to the twosome’s private dance studio. The beauty queen is dressed in black jeans. But the 5’8″ Gail Arias almost glides when she walks. She gives the illusion of still showing off the sequined gold evening gown to the judges of Mrs. International. Her hand majestically waves across the couple’s collection of first place trophies, which stand like chorus members in uniforms on the shelves of their exclusive practice area. Her newest additions include her Mrs. Thousand Oaks statuette and her three-foot Mrs. California International trophy.

Ten years ago, Gail Arias spoke to her coach of her desire to collaborate and choreograph routines within the confines of a platonic relationship. “I was running a very successful business and I had a boyfriend.” The coach made no promises.

Mrs. California International recalls that first meeting with Jamie Arias by saying, “Oh my God, oh my God! He was tall, dark and handsome and he was a great dancer! There was just too much chemistry!” She told her coach to call Jamie Arias and excuse her from the partnership. According to the couple, the message was never delivered.

Dancing in Duran Duran videos, illustrating Tai Chi with Morgan Fairchild and winning the Lambada championships along with running her high-end Pasadena work-out studio were just a few of the activities which kept Gail Knowlton from seeing the scintillating Jamie Arias on the dance floor on a regular basis.

Inevitably, the dance world brought them into body contact with a few dances here and there. At one sticky point, the future beauty queen was asked by her date to dance with his teacher. Remembering the incident. Gail laughs, “My boyfriend said, ‘You’re so good. I want to see you dance with my teacher.’ Who is your teacher I asked? My boyfriend replied, Jamie Arias.’”

A pivotal point for the couple was at the U.S. Open Swing Championships. One of the professional photographers admonished the future pageant queen for choosing an inappropriate dance partner. Revealing her pearly whites, the regal lady lets a vulnerable little girl emerge for an instant. She softly recalls, “He said, ‘You should be dancing with that man.’” The royalty puts the bass back in her voice and confidently continues the story. “He pointed way across the room. I said, you mean Jamie Arias?” The photographer asked her to dance with Arias as a favor to him. She asserts, “I never ask men to dance.”

Fortunately, Jamie Arias says, “I saw that look in her eye.” The devoted husband displays a big grin and states, “She had a look I hadn’t seen before.” The photographer saw the couple dance.

Dances later, telephone numbers were exchanged. Jamie Arias called his bride-to-be on Mother’s Day. Mrs. Arias explains, “Every two years my birthday falls on Mother’s Day. I was feeling sad about my last boyfriend.”

Her husband interjects, “I didn’t even know it was her birthday! I was just thinking about her, as usual, and I decided to call.”

Three weeks later Jamie and Gail Arias were married. Gail smiles lovingly at her partner, “I just knew he was the right one.”   Her heart hijacked her practical mind when Jamie Arias got down on one knee and proposed to her in the middle of a Good Earth Restaurant salad. They eloped to Las Vegas. Like church bells, they chime in harmony, “We didn’t tell anyone.” Jamie Arias chose the wedding date of July fourth. The day represented his ability to love freely for the first time in his life.

Married for almost a decade, the twosome still look like newlyweds. Not long after the interview is underway, Gail Arias moves to the more comfortable seat of her husband’s lap. She boasts of the telephone calls that come from Hollywood producers begging him to choreograph dance routines and salsa with divas like Nia Peeples.

I congratulate him on his recent inauguration into the Swing Hall of Fame? He replies with a simple yes. But ask him about Mrs. California International 2000 and a big boyish burst of energy erupts with a fountain of praises for his wife and her work with Kids at Heart. The pageant queen explains that the program encourages and educates children from low-income families. She smiles and says, “Choosing Kids at Heart as my platform was natural for me. I’ve been mentoring all my life. From childhood, when somebody needed advice they’d come to me, about everything! My parents used to tease me that I should charge. ”

So what are her words of wisdom for mothers of daughters who want to enter pageants and dance competitions? “I would advise moms to enforce the idea that competitions are to be used as a stepping stone, to learn new skills and to enhance self-esteem. Mothers need to keep their antenna out to see if their daughters are displaying negative behavior or poor sportsmanship… If the girls are not having fun in competitions, move on to something else!”

As for advice on food and nutrition, “I’ve never had a weight problem. I’ve been the same weight since I was eighteen. But I do eat as close as I can to God’s table, mostly fruits and vegetables.”

Is she ever naughty? Her husband offers, “She likes ice cream.” He quickly adds, “But we rarely eat that kind of stuff.”

Mrs. Arias nods. “I don’t use food to comfort myself. But that doesn’t mean I won’t take a piece of cake at a birthday party.” Protocol and protecting the feelings of the hostess is important to her. “My intention is always to make people feel good about themselves.”

With so much love between them, when are they going to celebrate birthdays for their own children? The beauty queen energetically retorts, “Actually we’re working on it right now. We’ve just been so busy. And Jamie and I have really felt so fulfilled with each other.”

I ask what her secrets are to keeping a decade of marriage alive. Without hesitation, Mrs. California International 2000 replies, ” Respect, we respect each other. And we practice forgiveness.” They also take midnight walks and go star gazing. “We really live in the moment.”

Perhaps that is the key to living like royalty.

Kim Knode’s interview articles focusing on artists, celebrities and dance champions have been published in various print and on-line publications.
See more of Kim’s work at www.kimknode.com