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Looks vs. Personality
By Katharine Miller
Published February 2002

In this corner, weighing heavily on the subconscious, the guy with the great sense of humor, it's Mr. Personality.

His opponent and to the right is light on his feet and easy on the eyes. Here's Prince Charming himself, Mr. Looks.

Who's going to this battle? With the Beholder acting as referee, it's a toss-up. If this were pro wrestling, they'd both be fakes and you be screwed either way.

Studies conducted by women's magazines over the years reveal that women are in favor of personality. A good sense of humor will surely win the heart of a good woman. But who here has ever spotted a man across the room and said, "Hey, look at the sense of humor on that one" besides me? Perhaps these women are keeping the future in mind, when she hopes her man will be amused rather than disgusted by the gravitational pull on her breasts. More likely, the editors of these magazines are aware of the male readership and want to make them feel adequate. Men are generally less concerned about the future and more concerned about the outcome.

Jules in Pulp Fiction said it best when he stated that personality goes a long way. Of course, this followed a bacon eating debate and may not be pertinent to this article. Looks do fade, but you're stuck with your personality forever. And women hope that it's a good one.

Now we've established that women crave substance. Let's be honest, with that biological clock ticking, personality may not be the substance girls are necessarily looking for. A woman who's looking to conceive a child may be less picky about her suitor's appearance as long as he's in good working order. Those of us who are not likely to marry or bear children are free to seek out other qualities such as money, fame, looks, or sterility.

Take a look at men's magazines and the tables are turned. While studies may be altered to make men feel more adequate, the photos in men mags give women complexes about their looks. With the airbrushed, plastic girls posed in the pictures, one might believe that men have impossibly high ideals of how a woman should look. The ideals can usually be reduced to blonde, chesty, and a willingness to believe he's the greatest man that ever lived. These ideals will be thrown out the window for anything resembling the female form and willing to put out. Especially if it's Friday night and large quantities of alcohol are involved.

It's a well known fact that men are visually driven beasts, but not all of them are after one night stands. After lust at first sight, men need something to keep them hanging around. If you don't know any knock-knock jokes or amusing anecdotes, good cooking skills work in a pinch. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, of course. And he thinks with his penis. Man, you thought girls were complicated.

As with everything, there are some exceptions. It's all a matter of taste, I guess. So, what's more important: personality or looks? Neither and both. Practice good hygiene, read a few books, and pray that luck is on your side. If you feel yourself drawn to someone, chalk it up to chemistry. Or anatomy. Or biology. And try not to dissect your date before you get to first base.

Katharine Miller has been published on several websites including Relationship101.com, Hotspots.com, and CurableRomantic.com

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