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Metrosexual
The Independent Woman
and the Metrosexual Man
By The Advice Diva
Published September 2004
A lot of people are starting
to wonder why dating in the big city has suddenly
become such a perplexing and complicated experience.
And when, exactly, did this happen? The dating
scene has always been a little troublesome for
some people and could even feel like more of a
chore than what should be a fun time. But lately
the single jungle of Houston and other large cities
are changing and evolving into more complex designs
of mass confusion. We seem to be moving faster
and faster into complete chaos rather than assimilating
into the well preserved roles that our mothers
and fathers laid out for us.
Gender roles are changing
and this is the basic concept that is generally
holding many of us back from entering successful
relationships. More and more people are remaining
single for longer periods of time. Part of this
is because we are finding it difficult to accept
and understand the new gender roles of our mates,
even if we, ourselves, are holding to those new
standards.
The roles of women have
gone through the most dramatic changes. They have
changed more in the last two generations than
in the last two millenniums. Due to mass media,
urbanization and politics, women have achieved
equality to men in education and the workplace
and everywhere else you look. And thanks to the
sexual revolution, we have freed our minds. Women
are now able to support themselves and raise their
own children without the help of a man, thus escaping
the traditional role of "mother" and "wife". Our
new found independence is something we fear giving
back. The independent woman does not want to be
controlled or told what to do. She will never
again be the docile little lamb once sought after
for marrying purposes.
This change in the lives
of women in large cities has led to a second major
change, this one in men. Men have moved from being
the gruff, rugged males to becoming "metrosexual"
(a term coined by gay journalist Mark Simpson).
Men have started to take over some of the duties
that women had always controlled. There are women
working alongside these men in the office. And
thanks to sexually homogenous advertising, the
meterosexual has been created. This new male breed
has matching ensembles for every occasion, never
has a bad hair day, loves manicures and smells
like roses. He has no problem shopping, attending
the opera and buying new shoes. The metrosexual
is completely in touch with his feminine side
but there is just one thing: he is straight.
Suddenly, the roles that
we are used to having our mates fill are no longer
being filled. The metrosexual is now asking why
he has to pay for every date, open doors and pick
a woman up at her door since the women are now
so independent and financially equal. Yet these
men still secretly yearn for that woman who will
do the housework and raise the children just like
mom did. The independent woman has become too
afraid to give back that independence she worked
so hard for only to begin relying more on a man
than herself. Why should she when the danger still
lies of being tossed aside one day? Yet, in her
heart, she also desires the manly man who will
sweep her off of her feet and take away all of
her problems, just like her daddy once did.
We have now entered what
appears to be a never ending cycle that can only
be broken by trust. The once praised nuclear family
with the hard working father and stay at home
mother is slowly dissipating. From now on, men
and women will be taking on more equal roles in
relationships and families. The question is: when
will we become comfortable enough to let it happen?
For questions and comments contact The
Advice Diva at: thediva@advicediva.com Please visit www.advicediva.com
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