Monthly Archives: August 2001

Total Body Shaving Guide

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By Margarita Dominguez

Margarita Dominguez wrote Hair-B-Gone a year ago, and it raised an Internet storm which helped to put the-vu on the big hit list. Now she’s back with a much-requested treatment of a subject that is driving people nuts all over the world, Body Shaving!

Okay, so I’m writing this article for the-vu, but I am personally more of a waxing kind of gal. Shaving is not my thing because it has to be repeated so frequently.

But two things have made me write this guide,

I have received a lot of feedback, via the-vu, from people who have had adverse reactions to waxing. These people have expressed a strong interest in reading a helpful guide to shaving the body.

Jeffrey the Barak, the-vu’s publisher, has informed me that enough people have hit Hair-B-Gone to populate a small country. Hair-B-Gone has been more popular than most books in Barnes and Noble.

So let’s all get wet, lather up and get out our razors for an exciting trip into the world of body shaving.

Why do people want to shave their bodies?

It’s mostly about sex! But also hairy men with good figures and good muscle tone want to show it off by removing their fuzz, oiling up and posing for their admirers and lovers.

Also, the waxing technique that I recommended so highly in Hair-B-Gone just isn’t for everyone. It hurts too much for many folks and many more are prone to contracting folliculitis (infected hair follicles) following a wax job.

Then there is the aspect of the shaving procedure itself. Whilst waxing is endured or tolerated for its end result, it is apparent that people enjoy shaving their bodies. It can be a sexual experience in itself, whether done alone, or performed upon a partner. There are many men’s magazines featuring women being shaved and women who are already shaved, and in the male gay community, mutual shaving is a common form of sexual foreplay.

When asked about hair removal, adult movie performers generally say they go for shaving over waxing for the maintenance of a hair free look. If they wax, and they are waiting for a long enough re-growth for the next waxing, it can interfere with their readiness to work.

About the research for this article! Hold on to your hats!

It would have been irresponsible of me to make this stuff up and have it published on the Internet so I decided to do some serious research and experimentation. For my research I assembled the following ingredients:

* My boyfriend
* Some razors and shaving gel
* And an outgoing male gay couple!

I used my boyfriend as a laboratory. He was hairy and now he isn’t! Lucky for him he was able to have his chest shaved without getting a rash or folliculitis from the re-growth. I have to admit I liked the feel of a naked shaved man, but I have to warn you that any flab or lack of tone around the middle looks much worse without hair to disguise it!

I actually preferred him before the shave, so I broke up with him and kicked him out. I can be brutal sometimes! Actually I’m only kidding, there was another reason to get rid of that guy! Enough said.

The gay couple came in handy to explain the appeal of the shaving act itself. My funny friends shave each other three to four times weekly and they say it always leads to sex. Aside from the mutual shave being practical, (they can each get their backs shaved) they say it’s essential for games involving baby oil and what they referred to as snake fights. These guys have very good physiques and when they insisted on revealing them to me in their entirety, their total hairless beauty mesmerized me. I showed them my own fabulous waxed hairless body but it didn’t hold the same appeal to them as their own overwhelmingly male bodies, so unfortunately for me, nothing happened as usual!

Basics.

Body shaving is best achieved if these basic rules are followed.

  • Wash the skin first with warm, not hot, not cold, water so that the skin is very clean.
  • Stand in the bathtub so you don’t make a mess. (Men use a drain basket so you don’t clog the drains.)
  • Use a new blade or new disposable razor. The sharper it is the less it will nick.
  • Let the shaving gel work on the skin before beginning the shave.
  • Do a section at a time, not the whole body at once!
  • Pull loose skin taut with the fingers of the hand that isn’t holding the razor.
  • Don’t press! The lightest touch will shave just as close as a dig but will be less likely to cut the skin.
  • Hairy men, for your first shave, reduce the length of the body hair with a beard trimmer or hair clippers or scissors, but keep those blades off the skin itself.
  • Avoid the temptation to attempt shaving your own back. Sideways movement of a razor will make a straight cut through your skin.
  • If it’s called after-shave, it’s alcohol and it’s going to sting and hurt. All after-shave smells terrible anyway! Buy some witch-hazel to use after your shave. This amazing natural liquid will reduce razor-burn and help prevent the open pores from becoming infected or producing acne. Don’t use pore-clogging cream after your shave!

So lets get down to it, the head to toe guide to body shaving!

Head

I personally think a rotary shaver is better for the head because it is the ultimate curved object, but if you use a razor, be careful not to lose an eyebrow! Use the fingertips of your other hand to feel for areas that still have stubble. Women, you can also shave your heads! Remember when movie star Bai Ling went from four foot long straight black hair to smooth and bald? Try a bald head and assorted wigs for various occasions. It’s a great solution for alopecia, and the entire scalp is of course an erogenous zone when it’s hairless.

Face and Neck

Men do this everyday and are rewarded with that “five o’clock shadow.” That’s why women must never ever shave their faces! Sorry shaving fans, but ladies MUST get waxed or threaded. See Hair-B-Gone
Ears are better dealt with using a rotary shaver but you can also use your wet razor on those coarse wild hairs.

Neck (back of)

Normally the stubbly feel at the back of the neck is quite desirable, but if your scalp is smooth, shave your neck. This should be left for your assistant to do if you are having your back shaved.

Shoulders

Like the chest, re-growth here can be irritating, so once you start, keep it smooth. Best done by an assistant.

Arms and hands

It’s easy to shave your less dominant arm and hand with your dominant hand. It feels weird for a right handed person to hold a razor in the left, but you’ll get used to it because you’ll be doing this at least twice a week from now on.

Back

When shaving your partner’s back, (don’t shave your own unless you really have to,) remember not to press down with the razor. You won’t be able to feel the pressure because it’s not your back!

Underarms

Women are used to this, but guys, don’t press with the blade and relax to let the hollow out. Repeat with a rinsed blade up to five times without pressing!

Chest or breasts

If you are a man with thick dark curly chest hair, the re-growth here will kill you! After you become bald-chested, exfoliate daily in the shower with a scrunchy to make sure you don’t get blocked follicles, which can become infected. If you do get folliculitis go straight to the doctor for antibiotics. During the shave, be very careful not to cut your nipples. Often there is coarse hair right at the nipples edge which should be shaved with great care and precision.

Tummy

It’s like your chest, only lower and hopefully flatter. Luckily it’s less sensitive than your chest and less likely to become infected or irritated.

Pubic Area

If you have shaved the rest of your body bald, why not lose the pubes? You might see the reappearance of that old appendix scar you had forgotten about! I recommend a porn star landing strip, which is a straight edged vertical rectangle of short pubic hair, dead center, directly above your equipment. No pubic hair is also an erotic look, especially on a female. I’m bald there myself and I’m always admiring myself in the mirror.

Guys, if you are keeping an area of pubic hair, keep it trimmed short and have the edges dead straight. Also, having a tiny bald area just above where your shaved penis joins your body will make your penis appear longer!

Bikini area

Okay, we’re discussing body shaving here. There’s no excuse not to include the bikini area, which is adjacent to the pubic, genital and anal areas. No one likes to see hair sticking out of your briefs if your chest is bald!

Genitals (male)

I’ve done this to a guy and I’ve watched two guys do this to each other. It’s not as scary as you may think! Pull the penis if it isn’t erect and gently shave the hairy part of the shaft near the body end. Shave towards the body. Move the penis from left to right to get in all the corners. By the way, If you’ve just shaved your shaft, you’ve just made it look longer! Stretch the skin of the balls as you gently shave them. Get the tops of the legs adjacent to the scrotum while you’re down there. A good way to test for missed stubble is to use the sensitive tongue and lips to feel for rough areas afterwards!

Genitals (female)

You can shave the labia without much danger of nicks and cuts, as long as you’re gentle with that blade. Use the fingertips of your other hand to feel for missed stubble. Repeat as soon as you can feel a re-growth. If you get razor bumps, exfoliate with a wet warm washcloth. No need to get too rough with it, just enough to break the pores free. Unless you’re pure Chinese, this is tough curly hair and it will be re-appearing in a day or two.

Perineum and anus

Between your genitals and anus is an area you shouldn’t miss. Once you’re shaved, you’re more likely to receive visitors down there. When shaving around the anus, stretch the skin of each cheek away from the orifice to get a good pass with the blade. If you are shaving yourself, squat in the tub. Razor bumps should be prevented here, so starting the day after your shave, exfoliate with a washcloth in the shower. Keep this area shaved to avoid uncomfortable stubble. Never press the razor hard against the skin here!

By the way, if you have perfected the martial art of silent farts, the lack of hair around the anus will make it impossible to fart silently from now on. Change your diet or something!

Legs, feet and toes

Easy enough if done in small sections. Any woman will tell you that shaving up the leg, against the direction of growth will net a closer shave, but shaving down is less likely to cut you. Sometimes men’s toe hair is as tough as eyebrows. If so, try soaking the feet in warm water and rubbing soap onto the toe tops for a while to prepare the skin there. No more gorilla sandals!

So there you have it you non-waxers you! Shave only in the bathroom, and clean up thoroughly afterwards.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Folliculitis! Also known as barber’s itch, pseudofolliculitis barbae, and tinea barbae. Basically this is any kind of infection in the hair follicle. The usual cause of folliculitis is the bacteria Staphylococcus (staph) or by a fungus. It may occur anywhere on the skin, as a result of injury or damage to the hair follicle caused by friction from clothing, by blockage of the follicle, or by shaving or waxing. A common cause is the sharp ends of re-growing shaved hair emerging from the follicles and curling back around to irritate the skin.

If you are unlucky enough to get this following your introduction to hairless life, keep the area clean. Avoid re-infecting yourself with contaminated clothing and washcloths. You will probably need to get a prescription for topical or oral antibiotics or antifungal lotion. It is contagious when it’s active and it itches so bad you will be totally miserable for weeks.

Conclusion

As the-vu’s Raymond Wells would say, There you have it! I still prefer to get waxed myself, but I have met people who either can’t stand the waxing or simply enjoy shaving and being shaved. It also has to be said that some people are quite comfortable just having hair all over the place, and that’s cool if you like that look. After all, isn’t this all about sex? We each dance to our different drummers.

Margarita Dominguez is struggling to finish writing a screenplay about road rage in modern America but keeps getting interrupted by the-vu. She maintains a hairless body and owns eight saxophones.

How Many Men Does One Woman Need?

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By S.D. Craig

I can speak from experience, and oh, how I’ve learned, about men in my life.  And men in other women’s lives, too.  That’s not to say I typecast men in general, but there are a few things about both sexes that just fall into place just about every time.  You can count on it.

Men may often talk about or wonder about what women really need.  And if they ever got brave enough to ask us, we may or may not tell them the truth.  Some women like mysterious.  They like to be mysterious.  I truly think there’s a bit of good in the fact that men don’t always know what we’re going to do next.  It keeps them on their toes.

My Mom, to this day, still delightfully surprises my Dad.  She’s such a package of energy, femininity, spirit, brains and talent – I can’t believe it.  Fact is, neither can he.  He still looks over at Mom as if he has no idea how he bagged that one, ya know?  I hear him chuckle as he relates the “new crazy thing Mom did on the golf course today,” golf being his world that he invites her into once in a little bitty while.  He might be busy laughing over the new ways she finds to trip and fall, whether walking or on her bike.  She turned sixty-nine yesterday and I still can’t keep up with her.  But this story is about men.  Males.  Masculinity.  The stronger sex.  The ones who make more money (though that’s ’another argument).

Wanting is not the same as getting and I’m a practical woman.  We all want a Mel Gibson, a Brad Pitt, a Harrison Ford, no?  But what we get is something between there and the slob in the Lazy Boy stuffing Cheetos and beer down, hollering like a lunatic at the 49ers on TV, belly peeking out under the old white T-shirt, socks hanging off the end of his toes.

Don’t get me wrong.  We truly want a real man.  But he needs a few things to fulfill our needs, doesn’t he?  How many men does it take to please one woman?  And can he be a combo of these or does she need separate men for her to be happy?  Good questions.  Thank you.

A woman should begin life with a father and for all of you who didn’t have much in the way of this in your lives, I apologize.  It’s unforgivable.  A female needs a manly man to look up to, or even a softhearted one who cries over movies with her.  It doesn’t matter.  A fatherly figure stands a woman in good stead from diapers and pigtails through dating, marriage and sometimes, even divorce.  A daddy is a good thing.  Sugar daddies were invented for a reason.

There’s a definite need for a handyman in a lady’s life.  A mechanic is nice, also, but not entirely necessary, though a two for one deal here is a real plus.  When she’s knee-deep in filthy sink water, it’s nice to know Mr. Fix-It is just a few feet away on that Lazy Boy.  When that SUV tank breaks down, it’s great to have a guy whose nails aren’t perfect and manicured looking under that hood with some know-how in his eyes.

A sex God?  You’ve seen those nude statues in downtown areas or parks, of the man sculpted to beat all.  Whoa.  Oh yes, a woman needs a man to make her feel like a woman.  That’s not to mean she can’t be a woman without a man, not at all.  But when it comes to the bedroom sports (or wherever you take them in), he’s got to know how to make her purr, push her buttons, stroke her skin.  Don’t forget her hair, nothing’s sexier than a man brushing a woman’s hair (and if they’re both naked, it’s even better).  Romance her, do little things that will be remembered forever.  Men think women aren’t interested in sex.  Don’t you listen to those silly voices in your heads, honey.  If you know what you’re doing, your woman will be interested in about as much romp time (or more) than you can handle.  Uh huh.  Tenderness, appreciation, affection and attention.  What aphrodisiacs.

Earning a living does fall somewhere in the things that makes a woman happy, but a man with his finger on his wallet or the check at dinner makes us smile.  Oh, doesn’t it though?  This going dutch stuff went out long ago, in a Southern woman’s opinion.  Nothing’s better than knowing our man can handle things come fire, flood or famine — famine being the one where he can afford to take us out to dinner every Friday night for the rest of our born days.  We want jewelry and candy and flowers and all that.  Don’t kid yourself we’re satisfied with less.  This doesn’t make a woman materialistic, just feeling like she’s taken care of.

A communicator is high on a woman’s list, a man to talk to and who can hold up the end of a decent conversation.  In with this falls the great listener, too.  Can he repeat back to you everything you say?  Once in a while, I stop in the midst of regaling some tale to Bob and ask him what I’ve just said.  Just checking.  Almost always, he can repeat it to me but I’ve caught him a time or two with no idea what I was saying.  Talk and listen.  Both key words in any relationship, whether it’s with your woman, your children or your parents.  Nobody likes someone who is bent on discussing themselves non-stop.

Along those same lines, let’s add to that a man with a wonderful sense of humor, which includes being able to laugh at himself and not just others.  We don’t need Jim Carrey here, but we don’t want a sourpuss face or a grump to live with.  Humor should be spontaneous, should come often, and let laughter bubble up in your lives more often than it doesn’t.  It’s a fabulous thing, laughter, especially when shared.  I know, I know.  I do laugh out loud at times and I’m completely alone.  So, what’s your point?

Now, I add this one as a personal suggestion.  A woman wants her man to be a good, safe driver.  Thank you for letting me say that.  Not a tailgater, not Parnelli Jones on the interstate, just a plain old “get-me-where-I-wanna-go” kind of man.

Let me say I’m not limiting this list to the above characteristics nor saying all these men can be put into one body.  But we can hope, can’t we?

This is, after all, the new millennium.

SD Craig is a freelance writer and editor of LovingYourCurves.com and was given the nickname “Chatterbox” by fellow writers. At age fifty, Craigs Southern flair and sense of humor give her plenty to write about with a rapier wit and a wacky outlook. Her articles on body image (her biggest passion), marriage/divorce and relationships, family, friends, career issues, computers, the Internet, horses, baseball, movie reviews and writing tips remind one of Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry. A freelance writer who once juggled five columns then got real, Craig welcomes your e-mails and feedback on her articles. Drop her a hello at sdcraig922@yahoo.com or stop by www.lovingyourcurves.com.

The Sky’s the Limit

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By Leonardo Calcagno

Bored of having sex on the bed? Maybe you should try the kitchen, bathroom or sofa! Still bored? Try a threesome, kinky leather or sex with someone else. Or maybe you could spice it up by having sex on an airplane, instantly becoming a Mile High Club member. Everybody has at lease once heard about stories of people having sex on planes, if not with those cute air hostesses and stewards, a cute single traveler or your vacationing partner. A lot of people brag about having sex in an airplane, but most of them are just talking shit….still the Mile High Club is real, very popular and something worth considering.

To become a Mile High Club member you need to be engaged in sexual intercourse at an attitude of at least 5,280 feet. Some people will tell you that you need to be at the controls of an airplane while having sex, but those who have performed in lavatories aboard a plane are welcome members. What better way to get a sex scoop than from a pilot, so I made a couple of calls and talked with Captain A. McDonald, a commercial airline pilot who works for a Canadian mega-airline (guess which one).

Leonardo: Who’s the founder of the Mile High Club?

Captain McDonald: It’s Lawrence Sperry, the inventor of the automatic pilot. He’s was a rich handsome pilot that died at age 31. I’m not sure exactly when was the first time, but it’s around 1915-17.

I’ve heard some pilots saying that the “real” Mile High Club members are the ones in control of an airplane…

Yes, that’s true. For a long time, pilots were exclusively members. But with millions of people flying all over the world, the club has expended to everybody in an airplane.

Are you a member?

Yes! I was single at the time. I’m married now.

Have you heard about the actual Mile High Club? What do they do?

It’s pretty much a club like any other club. They have events, sell t-shirts, have news letters, they have these gatherings and events. They have fashion shows for civilians, who want to buy air service clothing.

You are telling me that there’s an airplane fetish going on?

I guess you can call it that; it’s some kind of fetish. There are people that steal things off airplanes to sexually fantasize about air hostesses. There are always stories about travelers trying to have sex with them, or trying to buy their scarf or underwear. Girls come to the cockpit and slip us invitations with room numbers for wild sex. It must be the uniform.

Is it true that having sex in higher altitudes allows for bigger orgasms?

[Laughs] I don’t know if you get a bigger orgasm but it’s true that the high air pressure does something to your body and when you cum it’s pretty amazing. The only thing is that you get this tremendous pleasure, hard to describe if you have never done it in a plane.

I got to try it! What’s the most common place for sex?

The toilet is the best place, some use the covers to play with each other and others give blow jobs under it.

What happen if you get caught?

You’re under arrest. We call the nearest local airport police in our route and they pick you up. It’s a $500 fine and you’re charged with sex in a public place. You also lose your flight.

Is there a technique or something special you need to have sex in the bathroom?

You can’t be fat, that’s one! It’s very easy to get stuck. If you only knew how many people get stuck in the bathroom. Be very flexible to enjoy your experience. Don’t start screaming when you get to orgasm: that will give you away. Don’t get drunk, you may hurt yourself….that pretty much raps it up.

What’s your more interesting sex story?

I was just beginning my pilot career, it was a flight from Montreal to Rome. I went to the bathroom and to chat with the air hostess. In the corner of my eyes I spotted two beautiful dark hair Italians looking at me and smiling with this lusty look and I smiled back, just to be polite. I went back to the cockpit, and after 20 minutes one of the air hostess brought me a note with a picture….it was a invitation to a threesome with the two Italian girls, one of them was waiting for me in the toilet. So I went.

Is their a way to have sex on a plane without being in trouble?

There are travel agencies that specialized in the Mile High Club around the States. I don’t know any in Canada. The other way is to get a private plane and book it for a sex. extravaganza. This way you won’t break the law.

Can this agency be used for prostitution?

Yeah, sure. There are travel agencies specializing in pedophilia travel, I wouldn’t be surprised if they could use an agency for air prostitution. But that wouldn’t qualify “legally” as a Mile High Club practice.

Does every air personnel have an in-flight sex experience?

95% of personnel has had some sexual encounter. There are a lot of parties and lonely nights away from home…. and people love air hostess and pilots, so it’s normal that you get action.

How to become a member [Taken from the milehighclub.com]

1- Call your local travel agent and book a flight to wherever, it doesn’t matter.

2- Get ready to negotiate your seat assignment for one closer to your unsuspecting passenger. Hint: don’t offer your blanket and pillows, because you’ll need them.

3- Wait for the movie to start before you start your own movie. You don’t want to get arrested for indecent exposure aboard an airline.

4- Before you start your aerial pleasures, make sure you are at least 5,280ft AGL [a mile high above the earth], just to make it official.

5- And don’t forget to share this intimate experience with the MileHighClub.com.

Company that offer flights to couple the Mile High Club experience:

Some of you who maybe interested to live such experience, and are embarrassment to make your move, here are some air line agency’s:

Fantasie Aloft
San Jose, California
(408) 275-8500
e-mail: thunderbirdaviation@earthlink.net

New York Aviation Corporation
La Guardia Airport, NY
(718) 279-4000
e-mail: n_y_aviation@earthlink.net

Camelot Air Tours
Arvada, Colorado
(888) 802-9418
E-mail: eaarth@ibm.net

Flamingo airlines
Cincinnati, Ohio
(606) 802-6889
E-mail: flamingoair@lunken.com

Aero-Tech Inc.
Lexington, Kentucky
(606) 254-8906
E-mail: arlynn@mis.net

Captain Bud Fuchs Trimotor Air Tours
Long Beach, California
(800) 493-3003
E-mail: Trimotor2@aol.com

Leonardo Calcagno, well know writer in Montreal Canada. He’s been writing for local Canadian, Americano and European e-zines and zines in French, Spanish and English for almost 5 years. More known to get hate letters from right-wing housewives and to get into fights with promoters who don’t let him interview bands! You will mostly see him eating tofu dogs and drinking Guinness with his laptop in Montreal writing another article about politics, music and sex. Graduated with a bachelor degree in International Politics with a minor on international law… his parents are still wondering why he took on a life of sex writer! Tattooed with Che, Husker Du and ARA! Played chino-Hispanic punk on Les Kalisses D’immigrant, Trash Blues on Les Tetes Reduites and now stoner rock on Your Sister ! He contributes on Freezerbox.com, Kerozen, Indymedia.org, Stooky.com, Eroticandy.com, Biotech Montreal Action, QuebecTel, Zona de Obra and other zines!

For more of Leonardo’s work, please visit www.montrealnightguide.com and www.montrealconfidential.com

So You Wanna Be a Porn Star? An interview with Ana Loria

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So You Wanna Be a Porn Star? An interview with Ana Loria
By Leonardo Calcagno

Sex!Sex!Sex! a word that get some going crazy and others smiling. Porno!Porno!Porno! well there is a word that when mentioned, most of our society barks for murder. But hypocrisy is a sad thing; show me anyone who never saw a porno movie or magazine and I’ll tell you that they’re lying just to be interesting.

From the beginning of time, people have always felt the urge to sexually fantasize, but most of them are too chicken to venture into the world of flesh and horniness. But some are taking this world into the mainstream with hip zines, movies and clothing lines like Porn Star. But porno still makes people uncomfortable. Did you know that people would rather see war and misery on TV than people having sex? They are shocked and bark to stop it at any cost (freaking right wing close-minded society — sorry had to write that).

But like any war to win minds and change perceptions, there are those who resist society’s knee-jerk censorship and prohibition of anything sexual, by taking porn to the people and helping them to overcome their sexual frustration.

Ana Loria is just one of those people. This beautiful lady took time to tell me of her crusade, her book 1-2-3 Be a Porn Star! A Step-by-Step Guide to the Adult Industry and safesex.org, a website that helps people fulfill their sexual desires.

Leonardo: Tell me a little about yourself.

Ana Loria: I am a model and an aspiring actress, but probably my most unique aspect is my view of sexuality. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been a very sex-positive person, and I’ve always felt that society is completely screwed-up in its moral priorities. I feel that this world could be such a better place if there were ten times the sex and one-tenth the violence. So why do our advertisements tease and titillate so much, when the reality is that most people do not get as much sex as they want? I believe it’s because that inner dissatisfaction makes us hungrier as consumers, so it’s good for big business, but it’s bad for our souls and spirits. That’s why I’ve made it my personal mission to help people enjoy safe-sex as much and as easily as possible.

What urged you to do porno or get involved in the adult industry?

Actually, I’ve never had any aspiration to be an adult performer, and so I’ve never appeared in any pornography. Of course, I’ve had plenty of opportunity, and I do enjoy lingerie and bikini modeling. But believe it or not, I’m quite a private person. On the other hand, I will say that I find most porn stars extremely brave and wonderful people.

What’s safesex.org?

SAFESEX.ORG is the website I’ve administered for the past five years, with the most excellent help and funding of my publisher, InfoNet Publications. The site is designed to help men and women learn about all the ways one can get paid to participate in safe sex programs. It also is a resource for people who want to become escorts, dancers, masseuses, phone sex operators, Internet strippers, tantric sex teachers, adult movie stars, and much more. Recently, we just unveiled our new website SEXYJOBS.COM which is super-cool because it has a free job board where you can check out listings posted by adult industry employers. Plus you can post a free ad to let employers know you are looking for a sexy job. To my knowledge, it’s the only job site on the Internet for adult performers.

Tell me a little bit about your book: 1-2-3 Be a Porn Star!

Let’s face it, at some point or another, just about everyone fantasizes about being a porn star. Who wouldn’t want to get paid to enjoy sex in exotic locations with beautiful people? Of course, the problem has been figuring out how to break into this secretive business. But the fact is, the porn world is booming. Over 10,000 new adult videos are now being produced every year, and the demand for talent is at an all-time high. So I wrote the book in order to help people find the right places to look for work. It tells you who the right people are, how you can meet them, and how to land your all-important first job. And how to avoid being burned.

Whether you’re male or female, my book is designed to make it easy to cut through the usual obstacles. I give up-to-date contact information for all the best talent agents, directors and producers, along with advice in their own words for how to ensure your success. Plus I interviewed legendary porn stars like Jill Kelly, Max Hardcore, Nina Hartley, Peter North, Stacy Valentine, Randy West, Sharon Mitchell, Ashlyn Gere, Guy DeSilva, Annabel Chong and many more. 1-2-3 BE A PORN STAR! covers all the main areas of porn, including amateur, mainstream, hardcore, softcore, fetish, gonzo, gay, bi, lesbian, transsexual and couples. Extensive discussion is devoted to how to produce and market your own adult material. In addition to the video industry, I also discuss opportunities in cable, CD-ROM, DVD, print media and the booming Internet arena. Plus, of course, I had to devote an entire chapter to health and safety issues for adult performers.

Do you urge people with sexual fantasies to try porno?

I always urge people to be as honest as possible with themselves and their partners about what kind of sexual experiences would turn them on the most. I think fantasies are meant to be fulfilled… not stifled. Because repressed desire is what makes us mean and nasty and stupid! In other words, as long as its consensual, I say go for it.

Whats your advice for somebody thinking about a porno career?

Educate yourself! Read my book and Nina Hartley’s stuff, and check out Sharon Mitchell’s AIM Health Care Foundation. Make sure you know what you’re getting into and who you are dealing with… and then HAVE FUN!

Do you have fans, and have you encounter many weird ones?

Yes, I estimate that I’ve received over 100,000 e-mail letters from my kind website visitors over the past few years. Thanks to everyone, I’ve learned so much about humans it could fill 20 books! And yes, even the weird ones are appreciated. Because weird is human, so let’s not make anyone feel bad about who they are.

Are you married, and if yes how does your husband feels about it?

I’m not married… yet. I love people too much to commit to one right now, but I do intend to… and I know we will rock each other’s worlds.

How do you feel about anti-porno right-wing movements?

I understand their dilemma. They have a lot of pain and anger and conditioning to wrestle with, and sexuality scares them deeply. I just wish I could make them see that we actually improve as a species from having hot kinky wild sex. We are evolving to understand this, so I’m not worried.

Has porno become mainstream?

Yes, but I’m afraid a lot of this has to do with money. The next step is for it to be about love, respect, and personal growth.

Any last thoughts?

Yes, here’s a big kiss for everyone who loves sex and hates violence. Oh, in case you’re interested you can also find my books on Amazon. They’re also at Borders or Barnes and Noble. Yippee!

Leonardo Calcagno, well know writer in Montreal Canada. He’s been writing for local Canadian, Americano and European e-zines and zines in French, Spanish and English for almost 5 years. More known to get hate letters from right-wing housewives and to get into fights with promoters who don’t let him interview bands! You will mostly see him eating tofu dogs and drinking Guinness with his laptop in Montreal writing another article about politics, music and sex. Graduated with a bachelor degree in International Politics with a minor on international law… his parents are still wondering why he took on a life of sex writer! Tattooed with Che, Husker Du and ARA! Played chino-Hispanic punk on Les Kalisses D’immigrant, Trash Blues on Les Tetes Reduites and now stoner rock on Your Sister ! He contributes on Freezerbox.com, Kerozen, Indymedia.org, Stooky.com, Eroticandy.com, Biotech Montreal Action, QuebecTel, Zona de Obra and other zines!

For more of Leonardo’s work, please visit www.montrealnightguide.com and www.montrealconfidential.com

Vulva U

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By Leonardo Calcagno

The best way to for a guy to know the secrets of womanhood is to go to school. Just like some women need to get closer with their sexuality because of social or personal repression, men also can benefit from a bit of libido lessons. Sexuality is part of humanity and we are all very horny all the time, especially guys who, alas, don’t know shit about women. I went and talked to Dorrie Lane, the director of Vulva University. She will helps us refresh our sex lives and make us all vulvalutionaries. Her classes are mostly for women, but guys are welcome to join.

Leonardo: What’s Vulva University?

Dorrie Lane: Vulva University is an education site for sex through the eyes of women. It is primarily focussed on women’s issues around sex, all kinds of sex. All of our instructors are women. The 3 R’s of Vulva University are: Refresh your libido, Rejuvenate your sexual desire, and Realize your sexual potential.

…and House O’Chicks?

House O’Chicks is my company I started 10 years ago, to respond to the negative images of women as sexual beings. I am producing a video encyclopedia of “Sex Through the Eyes of Women,” to help dispel those negative images for women. I also created the Wondrous Vulva Puppet to give expression to our sexual feelings.

Is their something wrong with girls and their sexuality?

There is nothing wrong with girls and their sexuality, it’s society’s attitude, the media’s influence on body images of women and the way sex or sexuality is referenced by the powerful moral and media machines. Girls are getting the wrong or no message at all.

If you want to enroll to your university, what are the conditions?

Enrollment is free, and open to everyone, you register and select how you want to receive the classes, either online with a password into the lessons or through your email. You can select any class you want. We have a discussion board for each class too.

How can women develop their sexual potential?

First by not feeling negative or shameful about sex, then to experience the positive and self-healing aspects of sex. So many women are sexual in very limiting ways, many to satisfy others and not themselves. Many are limiting their experiences because of the “whore/madonna” label, (not the pop icon, she is vulvalutionary) or guilt and shame. Sex is used as a weapon too, which is contrary to the love potential.

Can you give us some pointers in masturbation?

Sure, the first pointer is the ability to understand your body through masturbation, how it responds to different touch in different places. Another area of exploration is the process of healing yourself through masturbation. I’m talking about menstrual cramps, sadness, headaches, common aches and pains not cancers and serious diseases, I don’t want you to get the impression that masturbation is that powerful, but on a deeper level, self loving is the basis for a loving life. In the masturbation class, which I teach, I stress the importance of self acceptance, of releasing shame, and of course plenty of techniques and resources.

…and the G-Spot?

A woman needs to know she has one first, then she needs to know how to keep it healthy. The G-spot is highly controversial because the medical books that most med. schools use haven’t been updated in well over 50 years and the sexual anatomy of women is outdated, so of course the 2-3 hours of sexual anatomy med. students receive is no great asset to providing good information and therefore, supporting its existence.

…and your class “Lesbian Sex 101″?

This class is an introduction to Lesbian sex, the teachers, Mikaya Heart and Kyree Klimist are sensitive to and speak to women who are curious about the social and emotional aspects of being with a woman sexually. The advance courses go into more detail on the sexual levels and techniques. Again, all the courses are presented in a non-judgemental way.

Do you think that men have a lack of sexual education?

I think EVERYONE has a lack of sexual education.

Do you have any famous Vulva student’s?

I don’t reveal my student’s names or identity.

What does a lack of sexual knowledge do to men and women?

It restrains your potential, it creates confusion on many levels, for women, who equate sex with love, it can be emotionally damaging. For men, who equate sex with power, a lack of sexual knowledge can leave them powerless.

Where can we enroll?

You can enroll at http://www.houseochicks.com/

Leonardo Calcagno, well know writer in Montreal Canada. He’s been writing for local Canadian, Americano and European e-zines and zines in French, Spanish and English for almost 5 years. More known to get hate letters from right-wing housewives and to get into fights with promoters who don’t let him interview bands! You will mostly see him eating tofu dogs and drinking Guinness with his laptop in Montreal writing another article about politics, music and sex. Graduated with a bachelor degree in International Politics with a minor on international law… his parents are still wondering why he took on a life of sex writer! Tattooed with Che, Husker Du and ARA! Played chino-Hispanic punk on Les Kalisses D’immigrant, Trash Blues on Les Tetes Reduites and now stoner rock on Your Sister ! He contributes on Freezerbox.com, Kerozen, Indymedia.org, Stooky.com, Eroticandy.com, Biotech Montreal Action, QuebecTel, Zona de Obra and other zines!

For more of Leonardo’s work, please visit www.montrealnightguide.com and www.montrealconfidential.com

Bowling….The Good Life?

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By Cynthia Bellai

Do you know “Ed,” the bowling alley lawyer? He caught his wife fooling around with the postman, went back to his hometown, ran into the girl he had a crush on in high school, bought the local bowling alley as an excuse to stay near her, and found his legal services to be in demand. Ed and I have a lot in common, except the part about being a lawyer. And the part about the wife and the girl. Still, the bond between us is strong because Ed owns a bowling alley and I want to own one.

Lest anyone get the wrong idea, my epiphany came to me long before NBC’s hit show began airing last fall. I have friends who can attest to it. I can even remember the moment the idea smacked me right in the head. I was attending a friend’s birthday party at a very cool, very tiny bowling alley in Montrose, having a great time, when I suddenly thought (and I believe I even said it out loud), “Telluride needs a bowling alley.”

Now I need to explain a little something about Telluride. Located in southwest Colorado, it’s about one mile long and half a mile wide, over 9,000 feet above sea level, and has a local population of approximately 1500 (not counting the dogs that seem to be in abundance there). Being an old mining town, the main activity of any evening is drinking. No kidding. There’s at least fifteen bars in this little box canyon retreat.

To date I have never seen a town more beautiful than Telluride, which is why I have been going back there consistently for the last ten years. But there’s more to my desire for having a business there than living in such wonderful territory. I truly believe that Telluride needs a bowling alley. They have plenty of outdoor activities—skiing, hiking, horseback riding, rock climbing, mountain biking, fishing, hang gliding, etc. But what is there to do on a rainy day? Not much, except go to the movies. Same with the evenings. And what about folks like me who want to have fun without expending a lot of physical energy? Again, we’re relegated to the bars or the movies. There is plenty of space available for an alternative recreational activity.

But the other reason why Telluride has such an attraction for me is its community. Unlike more urban settings—where people live close together physically but on different planets socially—or more rural settings where people may share the same concerns but live miles apart, Telluride seems to have a living, breathing community heart. The people of the town are close both physically and socially. They play together, work together, and solve (or debate!) community issues together. They certainly don’t always agree, but they do try to improve and preserve the spirit of Telluride. That’s the kind of town that I would like to be a part of. And those are the kind of people I’d like my bowling alley to serve—families, neighbors, co-workers, and everybody’s children. And for the most part, bowling is a group activity. It’s just not that much fun when you bowl by yourself. You need your friends and family around to tease you relentlessly about your gutter balls.

So what steps have I taken toward my goal? Not many, unless you count a lot of daydreaming. A couple of months ago I decided I needed a second job, and it occurred to me that for wanting to own a bowling alley so badly, I knew absolutely nothing about it. I started applying for jobs at bowling alleys in the Los Angeles area until I finally found one at the lovely  Mar Vista Lanes. Now I can learn and observe from the inside, so that I can one day fit all the pieces together.

To be perfectly honest with you, I never considered my desire to own a bowling alley to be unusual. It was just an idea that occurred and then continued to grow on me. But the few people I’ve mentioned it to have been fascinated by both the idea of doing it and by the idea of me doing it. I suppose it’s a profession that most people don’t even consider. I do remember when I was very, very young, my first best friend’s grandparents owned a bowling alley. And while I also thought that was unusual, I think I felt that way because they were the only people I knew who actually owned a business. Most of the adults I knew at the time just worked for different companies.

What I find to be amusing about the whole idea is that I am neither a good bowler nor an avid bowler. Even now that I’m working at a bowling alley, I rarely bowl. A great score for me is 90 (out of a possible 300). I can’t bowl for beans. But it doesn’t matter, because I have just as much fun doing it if I score 10 or 300. And that, to me, is the undeniably best thing about bowling—you can have a great time whether you suck or excel at the game. (Not to mention the fact that it has been unscientifically proven that drinking improves your bowling score.  What other sport can claim that?)

So slap a pair of red, white and blue shoes on me and call me hooked—the world of bowling is calling my name and the San Juan Mountains are beckoning this mountain mama home. With a lot of luck, a lot of hard work, and a lot of community support, you and I will be bowling in Telluride!

(Many thanks to the Montrose Bowling Alley for the initial inspiration.)

When not working at the splendiferous Mar Vista Lanes in Los Angeles or the equally enchanting Avalon Transportation Company, Cynthia Bellai can usually be found lounging around Mexico or Colorado, not working on her Master’s thesis.

Malaguti USA

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Breaking into the Market: The New School Entrepreneurs
By Vert James


In a time when gas prices are driving the masses back to the days of carpooling and public transit, a name like Vespa is reforming itself to mean more of a transportation alternative than a piece of nostalgia. Scooters are just beginning to receive major attention right now in the US and for more reasons than our tradition of stealing anything that is cool and European. With gas prices and traffic through the roof, the scooter market is set to explode.

Many Americans have already heard about Vespa coming back into the market with a new corporate feel and slick boutiques featuring classic models and cappuccino machines at every location. However, the hot topic in the scooter scene is the name Malaguti. Unless you are a fan of elite motor engine and body models, or a connoisseur of sought after Italian quality, you are probably unfamiliar with this brand of scooters. This will soon change.

Malaguti is Italy’s third largest scooter brand and was recently introduced into the US market by a group of young, energetic college grads from the University of Florida. Apparently, college got boring after the first two years and it only seemed logical to these real-world newborns to start a business. Today, their communal attitude and youthful spirit continue to drive Malaguti USA forward at a mind-blowing rate. The company’s focus is to stick to the young, growing scooter crowd and offer Italian Scooters at American prices. While Vespa’s new US models start at $3,000, the Malaguti’s average $2700. They have also embraced the traditional scooter crowd, ensuring an incredible amount of street credibility, something the young executives noticed that Vespa lost when it sued small Vespa shop owners last year for name infringement. “Sure we want to make a buck,” said Ian Kirby, a Malaguti USA marketing executive, “but we’ve seen not only the scooter market, but most all of America, turn into a pathetic corporate wasteland.

At Malaguti USA we’ve embraced the extremely simple idea that if everyone is happy, from my coworkers to our customers, then we can’t go wrong.” This philosophy seems to be carrying Kirby and the rest of Malaguti USA to the top of their game faster than they realize.

How Malaguti Arrived In the States

Growing up in Miami, Joel Martin recognized scooters, a vehicle analogous with a European lifestyle, as part of his everyday being. Helping father Froilan and grandfather Manuel run a small scooter outlet in Miami, Martin became a natural expert in motor scooters and the related business. In college, he was approached by Malaguti and was asked to do American market research for the Italian firm. His college career was already highlighted by marketing internships at companies like Coke and Sony and so it came naturally to him to try to find a market for the Italian scooters. After consideration and the following realization of the huge potential for an American scooter market, Martin asked his friends Chris Esposito and Ian Kirby for help in looking for marketing opportunities for scooters in the US. Immediately, Esposito, Kirby and Martin turned their small DJ entertainment company that they ran for extra cash into a PR firm for the Malaguti scooter empire. In January they launched the Malaguti USA brand and have been hard under pressure to keep up with demand since they started.

When questioned about the birth and development Malaguti USA, Esposito said, “Most of our friends left college regretting the fact that they didn’t drink enough beer. I left regretting that I didn’t turn my DJ business into a PR firm that handles international accounts earlier. I couldn’t have asked for a better situation—my hobby has turned into my career.” Kirby added, “Everyday, we wake up and know that we are making our living doing exactly what we want to do. California is whining about the energy crisis but we’re loving it. It’s funny, people didn’t think scooters would sell, but now that gas prices are up everyone wants an Italian scooter.”

Since Graduation they have been turning down jobs left and right. The trio has omitted positions at marketing firms and youth-oriented websites. “The temptation’s always there—job security, company cars—that sort of thing, but that’s submitting to the rat race. Where’s the adventure?” Joel Martin, president of Malaguti USA asked. He continued, “We’re actually pretty lucky that we haven’t hopped on any of the corporate opportunities that have been offered to us. All my friends who left for the dot com field are now looking for jobs; we followed our hearts and were doing okay. It’s not about money.”

While the classically trained businessman would most likely frown upon the Malaguti USA marketing and promotional strategy, many established marketing experts are highly impressed by the innovative approach the young firm uses to promote itself. Their first event was the Indiana Motorcycle show at the RCA dome in February. While companies like Yamaha and Harley Davidson had expensive and flashy setups, the Malaguti team knew they would need something more if they were to attract the attention they were looking for. Using industry connections, their booth included a light show and a constant live performance by DJ Factor E who recently went on the road with the MTV Campus Invasion Tour. The Malaguti booth received national rave reviews and was voted one of the best booths at the event.

Their second event soon followed in March with Playboy Magazine’s Spring Break on South Padre Island, Texas. Playboy Playmates paraded around the island for the entire week on the hottest new scooter brand around. Esposito, Kirby and Martin personally escorted the Playboy limousine wherever the Playmates went on the island. The event received international headlines in the motorcycle and scooter press, on top of being featured on Playboy.com.

Malaguti USA opened its US headquarters in Miami, Florida where Martin’s family scooter shop was located. Malaguti SpA has been so impressed by Martin’s work, it extended Martin’s contract and asked him to set up all of North America to receive the giant scooter brand. His first mission was to send out Kirby and Esposito to open up the West Coast offices. Before this could happen, the Malaguti events reached the ear of Playboy’s president Cindy Rakowitz who offered to take on the Malaguti cause. She hired Chris Esposito as her Event and Program Coordinator for a new Marketing, PR company called RakNRoll (www.RakNRoll.com) Thanks to the new PR firm Malaguti is now making a name for itself outside of the scooter crowd. “With RakNRoll’s help we will be able to develop the brand to the point where it’s at in Europe in a shorter time. People know that Italian scooters are the best there is in style and quality, and it’s up to us to show them there’s more out there than just Vespa,” commented Esposito.

The next large event featuring Malaguti will be the Ducati World Weekend in Nevada this October. Hundreds of thousands of motorcycle fans will flock to the Vegas racetrack from all over the world to participate in the event. Malaguti USA just reached an exclusive licensing deal and promotional agreement with Ducati North America to be its official scooter. Malaguti will also be launching a line of limited edition US Ducati replica scooters for collectors this fall, all of which will have high exposure at the World Weekend.

In the meantime, Esposito, Kirby and Martin continue to run Malaguti USA in their own particular manner. Said Kirby, “It’s not an issue of Malaguti adjusting to the business and consumer here; it’s an issue of us retraining the American market to embrace the product we have and the way we do business. And it couldn’t be going better.” With that Kirby had to excuse himself. He said that he was on his way to the beach to meet Esposito—in the middle of the business day. “That’s what we do. We run our business on the precept that if we’re happy ourselves then everyone else will be happy with us.” Martin emphasized this in a separate interview saying, “At Malaguti we like to think that if it’s not getting better, you’re not doing it right.” After a laugh he said, “Well, it’s getting better.”

Not bad for a few kids who three months ago were looking for change to order a pizza.

All pictures courtesy of Malaguti USA

A novelist and scooter enthusiast, Vert James’ one goal in life is to be credited with inventing the bumper sticker slogan: I’d Rather Be…