Total Body Shaving Guide

By Margarita Dominguez

Margarita Dominguez wrote Hair-B-Gone a year ago, and it raised an Internet storm which helped to put the-vu on the big hit list. Now she’s back with a much-requested treatment of a subject that is driving people nuts all over the world, Body Shaving!

Okay, so I’m writing this article for the-vu, but I am personally more of a waxing kind of gal. Shaving is not my thing because it has to be repeated so frequently.

But two things have made me write this guide,

I have received a lot of feedback, via the-vu, from people who have had adverse reactions to waxing. These people have expressed a strong interest in reading a helpful guide to shaving the body.

Jeffrey the Barak, the-vu’s publisher, has informed me that enough people have hit Hair-B-Gone to populate a small country. Hair-B-Gone has been more popular than most books in Barnes and Noble.

So let’s all get wet, lather up and get out our razors for an exciting trip into the world of body shaving.

Why do people want to shave their bodies?

It’s mostly about sex! But also hairy men with good figures and good muscle tone want to show it off by removing their fuzz, oiling up and posing for their admirers and lovers.

Also, the waxing technique that I recommended so highly in Hair-B-Gone just isn’t for everyone. It hurts too much for many folks and many more are prone to contracting folliculitis (infected hair follicles) following a wax job.

Then there is the aspect of the shaving procedure itself. Whilst waxing is endured or tolerated for its end result, it is apparent that people enjoy shaving their bodies. It can be a sexual experience in itself, whether done alone, or performed upon a partner. There are many men’s magazines featuring women being shaved and women who are already shaved, and in the male gay community, mutual shaving is a common form of sexual foreplay.

When asked about hair removal, adult movie performers generally say they go for shaving over waxing for the maintenance of a hair free look. If they wax, and they are waiting for a long enough re-growth for the next waxing, it can interfere with their readiness to work.

About the research for this article! Hold on to your hats!

It would have been irresponsible of me to make this stuff up and have it published on the Internet so I decided to do some serious research and experimentation. For my research I assembled the following ingredients:

* My boyfriend
* Some razors and shaving gel
* And an outgoing male gay couple!

I used my boyfriend as a laboratory. He was hairy and now he isn’t! Lucky for him he was able to have his chest shaved without getting a rash or folliculitis from the re-growth. I have to admit I liked the feel of a naked shaved man, but I have to warn you that any flab or lack of tone around the middle looks much worse without hair to disguise it!

I actually preferred him before the shave, so I broke up with him and kicked him out. I can be brutal sometimes! Actually I’m only kidding, there was another reason to get rid of that guy! Enough said.

The gay couple came in handy to explain the appeal of the shaving act itself. My funny friends shave each other three to four times weekly and they say it always leads to sex. Aside from the mutual shave being practical, (they can each get their backs shaved) they say it’s essential for games involving baby oil and what they referred to as snake fights. These guys have very good physiques and when they insisted on revealing them to me in their entirety, their total hairless beauty mesmerized me. I showed them my own fabulous waxed hairless body but it didn’t hold the same appeal to them as their own overwhelmingly male bodies, so unfortunately for me, nothing happened as usual!

Basics.

Body shaving is best achieved if these basic rules are followed.

• Wash the skin first with warm, not hot, not cold, water so that the skin is very clean.
• Stand in the bathtub so you don’t make a mess. (Men use a drain basket so you don’t clog the drains.)
• Use a new blade or new disposable razor. The sharper it is the less it will nick.
• Let the shaving gel work on the skin before beginning the shave.
• Do a section at a time, not the whole body at once!
• Pull loose skin taut with the fingers of the hand that isn’t holding the razor.
• Don’t press! The lightest touch will shave just as close as a dig but will be less likely to cut the skin.
• Hairy men, for your first shave, reduce the length of the body hair with a beard trimmer or hair clippers or scissors, but keep those blades off the skin itself.
• Avoid the temptation to attempt shaving your own back. Sideways movement of a razor will make a straight cut through your skin.
• If it’s called after-shave, it’s alcohol and it’s going to sting and hurt. All after-shave smells terrible anyway! Buy some witch-hazel to use after your shave. This amazing natural liquid will reduce razor-burn and help prevent the open pores from becoming infected or producing acne. Don’t use pore-clogging cream after your shave!

So lets get down to it, the head to toe guide to body shaving!

Head

I personally think a rotary shaver is better for the head because it is the ultimate curved object, but if you use a razor, be careful not to lose an eyebrow! Use the fingertips of your other hand to feel for areas that still have stubble. Women, you can also shave your heads! Remember when movie star Bai Ling went from four foot long straight black hair to smooth and bald? Try a bald head and assorted wigs for various occasions. It’s a great solution for alopecia, and the entire scalp is of course an erogenous zone when it’s hairless.

Face and Neck

Men do this everyday and are rewarded with that “five o’clock shadow.” That’s why women must never ever shave their faces! Sorry shaving fans, but ladies MUST get waxed or threaded. See Hair-B-Gone
Ears are better dealt with using a rotary shaver but you can also use your wet razor on those coarse wild hairs.

Neck (back of)

Normally the stubbly feel at the back of the neck is quite desirable, but if your scalp is smooth, shave your neck. This should be left for your assistant to do if you are having your back shaved.

Shoulders

Like the chest, re-growth here can be irritating, so once you start, keep it smooth. Best done by an assistant.

Arms and hands

It’s easy to shave your less dominant arm and hand with your dominant hand. It feels weird for a right handed person to hold a razor in the left, but you’ll get used to it because you’ll be doing this at least twice a week from now on.

Back

When shaving your partner’s back, (don’t shave your own unless you really have to,) remember not to press down with the razor. You won’t be able to feel the pressure because it’s not your back!

Underarms

Women are used to this, but guys, don’t press with the blade and relax to let the hollow out. Repeat with a rinsed blade up to five times without pressing!

Chest or breasts

If you are a man with thick dark curly chest hair, the re-growth here will kill you! After you become bald-chested, exfoliate daily in the shower with a scrunchy to make sure you don’t get blocked follicles, which can become infected. If you do get folliculitis go straight to the doctor for antibiotics. During the shave, be very careful not to cut your nipples. Often there is coarse hair right at the nipples edge which should be shaved with great care and precision.

Tummy

It’s like your chest, only lower and hopefully flatter. Luckily it’s less sensitive than your chest and less likely to become infected or irritated.

Pubic Area

If you have shaved the rest of your body bald, why not lose the pubes? You might see the reappearance of that old appendix scar you had forgotten about! I recommend a porn star landing strip, which is a straight edged vertical rectangle of short pubic hair, dead center, directly above your equipment. No pubic hair is also an erotic look, especially on a female. I’m bald there myself and I’m always admiring myself in the mirror.

Guys, if you are keeping an area of pubic hair, keep it trimmed short and have the edges dead straight. Also, having a tiny bald area just above where your shaved penis joins your body will make your penis appear longer!

Bikini area

Okay, we’re discussing body shaving here. There’s no excuse not to include the bikini area, which is adjacent to the pubic, genital and anal areas. No one likes to see hair sticking out of your briefs if your chest is bald!

Genitals (male)

I’ve done this to a guy and I’ve watched two guys do this to each other. It’s not as scary as you may think! Pull the penis if it isn’t erect and gently shave the hairy part of the shaft near the body end. Shave towards the body. Move the penis from left to right to get in all the corners. By the way, If you’ve just shaved your shaft, you’ve just made it look longer! Stretch the skin of the balls as you gently shave them. Get the tops of the legs adjacent to the scrotum while you’re down there. A good way to test for missed stubble is to use the sensitive tongue and lips to feel for rough areas afterwards!

Genitals (female)

You can shave the labia without much danger of nicks and cuts, as long as you’re gentle with that blade. Use the fingertips of your other hand to feel for missed stubble. Repeat as soon as you can feel a re-growth. If you get razor bumps, exfoliate with a wet warm washcloth. No need to get too rough with it, just enough to break the pores free. Unless you’re pure Chinese, this is tough curly hair and it will be re-appearing in a day or two.

Perineum and anus

Between your genitals and anus is an area you shouldn’t miss. Once you’re shaved, you’re more likely to receive visitors down there. When shaving around the anus, stretch the skin of each cheek away from the orifice to get a good pass with the blade. If you are shaving yourself, squat in the tub. Razor bumps should be prevented here, so starting the day after your shave, exfoliate with a washcloth in the shower. Keep this area shaved to avoid uncomfortable stubble. Never press the razor hard against the skin here!

By the way, if you have perfected the martial art of silent farts, the lack of hair around the anus will make it impossible to fart silently from now on. Change your diet or something!

Legs, feet and toes

Easy enough if done in small sections. Any woman will tell you that shaving up the leg, against the direction of growth will net a closer shave, but shaving down is less likely to cut you. Sometimes men’s toe hair is as tough as eyebrows. If so, try soaking the feet in warm water and rubbing soap onto the toe tops for a while to prepare the skin there. No more gorilla sandals!

So there you have it you non-waxers you! Shave only in the bathroom, and clean up thoroughly afterwards.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Folliculitis! Also known as barber’s itch, pseudofolliculitis barbae, and tinea barbae. Basically this is any kind of infection in the hair follicle. The usual cause of folliculitis is the bacteria Staphylococcus (staph) or by a fungus. It may occur anywhere on the skin, as a result of injury or damage to the hair follicle caused by friction from clothing, by blockage of the follicle, or by shaving or waxing. A common cause is the sharp ends of re-growing shaved hair emerging from the follicles and curling back around to irritate the skin.

If you are unlucky enough to get this following your introduction to hairless life, keep the area clean. Avoid re-infecting yourself with contaminated clothing and washcloths. You will probably need to get a prescription for topical or oral antibiotics or antifungal lotion. It is contagious when it’s active and it itches so bad you will be totally miserable for weeks.

Conclusion

As the-vu’s Raymond Wells would say, There you have it! I still prefer to get waxed myself, but I have met people who either can’t stand the waxing or simply enjoy shaving and being shaved. It also has to be said that some people are quite comfortable just having hair all over the place, and that’s cool if you like that look. After all, isn’t this all about sex? We each dance to our different drummers.

Margarita Dominguez is struggling to finish writing a screenplay about road rage in modern America but keeps getting interrupted by the-vu. She maintains a hairless body and owns eight saxophones.

How Many Men Does One Woman Need?

By S.D. Craig

I can speak from experience, and oh, how I’ve learned, about men in my life.  And men in other women’s lives, too.  That’s not to say I typecast men in general, but there are a few things about both sexes that just fall into place just about every time.  You can count on it.

Men may often talk about or wonder about what women really need.  And if they ever got brave enough to ask us, we may or may not tell them the truth.  Some women like mysterious.  They like to be mysterious.  I truly think there’s a bit of good in the fact that men don’t always know what we’re going to do next.  It keeps them on their toes.

My Mom, to this day, still delightfully surprises my Dad.  She’s such a package of energy, femininity, spirit, brains and talent – I can’t believe it.  Fact is, neither can he.  He still looks over at Mom as if he has no idea how he bagged that one, ya know?  I hear him chuckle as he relates the “new crazy thing Mom did on the golf course today,” golf being his world that he invites her into once in a little bitty while.  He might be busy laughing over the new ways she finds to trip and fall, whether walking or on her bike.  She turned sixty-nine yesterday and I still can’t keep up with her.  But this story is about men.  Males.  Masculinity.  The stronger sex.  The ones who make more money (though that’s ’another argument).

Wanting is not the same as getting and I’m a practical woman.  We all want a Mel Gibson, a Brad Pitt, a Harrison Ford, no?  But what we get is something between there and the slob in the Lazy Boy stuffing Cheetos and beer down, hollering like a lunatic at the 49ers on TV, belly peeking out under the old white T-shirt, socks hanging off the end of his toes.

Don’t get me wrong.  We truly want a real man.  But he needs a few things to fulfill our needs, doesn’t he?  How many men does it take to please one woman?  And can he be a combo of these or does she need separate men for her to be happy?  Good questions.  Thank you.

A woman should begin life with a father and for all of you who didn’t have much in the way of this in your lives, I apologize.  It’s unforgivable.  A female needs a manly man to look up to, or even a softhearted one who cries over movies with her.  It doesn’t matter.  A fatherly figure stands a woman in good stead from diapers and pigtails through dating, marriage and sometimes, even divorce.  A daddy is a good thing.  Sugar daddies were invented for a reason.

There’s a definite need for a handyman in a lady’s life.  A mechanic is nice, also, but not entirely necessary, though a two for one deal here is a real plus.  When she’s knee-deep in filthy sink water, it’s nice to know Mr. Fix-It is just a few feet away on that Lazy Boy.  When that SUV tank breaks down, it’s great to have a guy whose nails aren’t perfect and manicured looking under that hood with some know-how in his eyes.

A sex God?  You’ve seen those nude statues in downtown areas or parks, of the man sculpted to beat all.  Whoa.  Oh yes, a woman needs a man to make her feel like a woman.  That’s not to mean she can’t be a woman without a man, not at all.  But when it comes to the bedroom sports (or wherever you take them in), he’s got to know how to make her purr, push her buttons, stroke her skin.  Don’t forget her hair, nothing’s sexier than a man brushing a woman’s hair (and if they’re both naked, it’s even better).  Romance her, do little things that will be remembered forever.  Men think women aren’t interested in sex.  Don’t you listen to those silly voices in your heads, honey.  If you know what you’re doing, your woman will be interested in about as much romp time (or more) than you can handle.  Uh huh.  Tenderness, appreciation, affection and attention.  What aphrodisiacs.

Earning a living does fall somewhere in the things that makes a woman happy, but a man with his finger on his wallet or the check at dinner makes us smile.  Oh, doesn’t it though?  This going dutch stuff went out long ago, in a Southern woman’s opinion.  Nothing’s better than knowing our man can handle things come fire, flood or famine — famine being the one where he can afford to take us out to dinner every Friday night for the rest of our born days.  We want jewelry and candy and flowers and all that.  Don’t kid yourself we’re satisfied with less.  This doesn’t make a woman materialistic, just feeling like she’s taken care of.

A communicator is high on a woman’s list, a man to talk to and who can hold up the end of a decent conversation.  In with this falls the great listener, too.  Can he repeat back to you everything you say?  Once in a while, I stop in the midst of regaling some tale to Bob and ask him what I’ve just said.  Just checking.  Almost always, he can repeat it to me but I’ve caught him a time or two with no idea what I was saying.  Talk and listen.  Both key words in any relationship, whether it’s with your woman, your children or your parents.  Nobody likes someone who is bent on discussing themselves non-stop.

Along those same lines, let’s add to that a man with a wonderful sense of humor, which includes being able to laugh at himself and not just others.  We don’t need Jim Carrey here, but we don’t want a sourpuss face or a grump to live with.  Humor should be spontaneous, should come often, and let laughter bubble up in your lives more often than it doesn’t.  It’s a fabulous thing, laughter, especially when shared.  I know, I know.  I do laugh out loud at times and I’m completely alone.  So, what’s your point?

Now, I add this one as a personal suggestion.  A woman wants her man to be a good, safe driver.  Thank you for letting me say that.  Not a tailgater, not Parnelli Jones on the interstate, just a plain old “get-me-where-I-wanna-go” kind of man.

Let me say I’m not limiting this list to the above characteristics nor saying all these men can be put into one body.  But we can hope, can’t we?

This is, after all, the new millennium.

SD Craig is a freelance writer and editor of LovingYourCurves.com and was given the nickname “Chatterbox” by fellow writers. At age fifty, Craigs Southern flair and sense of humor give her plenty to write about with a rapier wit and a wacky outlook. Her articles on body image (her biggest passion), marriage/divorce and relationships, family, friends, career issues, computers, the Internet, horses, baseball, movie reviews and writing tips remind one of Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry. A freelance writer who once juggled five columns then got real, Craig welcomes your e-mails and feedback on her articles. Drop her a hello at sdcraig922@yahoo.com or stop by www.lovingyourcurves.com.

The Sky’s the Limit

By Leonardo Calcagno

Bored of having sex on the bed? Maybe you should try the kitchen, bathroom or sofa! Still bored? Try a threesome, kinky leather or sex with someone else. Or maybe you could spice it up by having sex on an airplane, instantly becoming a Mile High Club member. Everybody has at lease once heard about stories of people having sex on planes, if not with those cute air hostesses and stewards, a cute single traveler or your vacationing partner. A lot of people brag about having sex in an airplane, but most of them are just talking shit….still the Mile High Club is real, very popular and something worth considering.

To become a Mile High Club member you need to be engaged in sexual intercourse at an attitude of at least 5,280 feet. Some people will tell you that you need to be at the controls of an airplane while having sex, but those who have performed in lavatories aboard a plane are welcome members. What better way to get a sex scoop than from a pilot, so I made a couple of calls and talked with Captain A. McDonald, a commercial airline pilot who works for a Canadian mega-airline (guess which one).

Leonardo: Who’s the founder of the Mile High Club?

Captain McDonald: It’s Lawrence Sperry, the inventor of the automatic pilot. He’s was a rich handsome pilot that died at age 31. I’m not sure exactly when was the first time, but it’s around 1915-17.

I’ve heard some pilots saying that the “real” Mile High Club members are the ones in control of an airplane…

Yes, that’s true. For a long time, pilots were exclusively members. But with millions of people flying all over the world, the club has expended to everybody in an airplane.

Are you a member?

Yes! I was single at the time. I’m married now.

Have you heard about the actual Mile High Club? What do they do?

It’s pretty much a club like any other club. They have events, sell t-shirts, have news letters, they have these gatherings and events. They have fashion shows for civilians, who want to buy air service clothing.

You are telling me that there’s an airplane fetish going on?

I guess you can call it that; it’s some kind of fetish. There are people that steal things off airplanes to sexually fantasize about air hostesses. There are always stories about travelers trying to have sex with them, or trying to buy their scarf or underwear. Girls come to the cockpit and slip us invitations with room numbers for wild sex. It must be the uniform.

Is it true that having sex in higher altitudes allows for bigger orgasms?

[Laughs] I don’t know if you get a bigger orgasm but it’s true that the high air pressure does something to your body and when you cum it’s pretty amazing. The only thing is that you get this tremendous pleasure, hard to describe if you have never done it in a plane.

I got to try it! What’s the most common place for sex?

The toilet is the best place, some use the covers to play with each other and others give blow jobs under it.

What happen if you get caught?

You’re under arrest. We call the nearest local airport police in our route and they pick you up. It’s a $500 fine and you’re charged with sex in a public place. You also lose your flight.

Is there a technique or something special you need to have sex in the bathroom?

You can’t be fat, that’s one! It’s very easy to get stuck. If you only knew how many people get stuck in the bathroom. Be very flexible to enjoy your experience. Don’t start screaming when you get to orgasm: that will give you away. Don’t get drunk, you may hurt yourself….that pretty much raps it up.

What’s your more interesting sex story?

I was just beginning my pilot career, it was a flight from Montreal to Rome. I went to the bathroom and to chat with the air hostess. In the corner of my eyes I spotted two beautiful dark hair Italians looking at me and smiling with this lusty look and I smiled back, just to be polite. I went back to the cockpit, and after 20 minutes one of the air hostess brought me a note with a picture….it was a invitation to a threesome with the two Italian girls, one of them was waiting for me in the toilet. So I went.

Is their a way to have sex on a plane without being in trouble?

There are travel agencies that specialized in the Mile High Club around the States. I don’t know any in Canada. The other way is to get a private plane and book it for a sex. extravaganza. This way you won’t break the law.

Can this agency be used for prostitution?

Yeah, sure. There are travel agencies specializing in pedophilia travel, I wouldn’t be surprised if they could use an agency for air prostitution. But that wouldn’t qualify “legally” as a Mile High Club practice.

Does every air personnel have an in-flight sex experience?

95% of personnel has had some sexual encounter. There are a lot of parties and lonely nights away from home…. and people love air hostess and pilots, so it’s normal that you get action.

How to become a member [Taken from the milehighclub.com]

1- Call your local travel agent and book a flight to wherever, it doesn’t matter.

2- Get ready to negotiate your seat assignment for one closer to your unsuspecting passenger. Hint: don’t offer your blanket and pillows, because you’ll need them.

3- Wait for the movie to start before you start your own movie. You don’t want to get arrested for indecent exposure aboard an airline.

4- Before you start your aerial pleasures, make sure you are at least 5,280ft AGL [a mile high above the earth], just to make it official.

5- And don’t forget to share this intimate experience with the MileHighClub.com.

Company that offer flights to couple the Mile High Club experience:

Some of you who maybe interested to live such experience, and are embarrassment to make your move, here are some air line agency’s:

Fantasie Aloft
San Jose, California
(408) 275-8500
e-mail: thunderbirdaviation@earthlink.net

New York Aviation Corporation
La Guardia Airport, NY
(718) 279-4000
e-mail: n_y_aviation@earthlink.net

Camelot Air Tours
Arvada, Colorado
(888) 802-9418
E-mail: eaarth@ibm.net

Flamingo airlines
Cincinnati, Ohio
(606) 802-6889
E-mail: flamingoair@lunken.com

Aero-Tech Inc.
Lexington, Kentucky
(606) 254-8906
E-mail: arlynn@mis.net

Captain Bud Fuchs Trimotor Air Tours
Long Beach, California
(800) 493-3003
E-mail: Trimotor2@aol.com

Leonardo Calcagno, well know writer in Montreal Canada. He’s been writing for local Canadian, Americano and European e-zines and zines in French, Spanish and English for almost 5 years. More known to get hate letters from right-wing housewives and to get into fights with promoters who don’t let him interview bands! You will mostly see him eating tofu dogs and drinking Guinness with his laptop in Montreal writing another article about politics, music and sex. Graduated with a bachelor degree in International Politics with a minor on international law… his parents are still wondering why he took on a life of sex writer! Tattooed with Che, Husker Du and ARA! Played chino-Hispanic punk on Les Kalisses D’immigrant, Trash Blues on Les Tetes Reduites and now stoner rock on Your Sister ! He contributes on Freezerbox.com, Kerozen, Indymedia.org, Stooky.com, Eroticandy.com, Biotech Montreal Action, QuebecTel, Zona de Obra and other zines!

For more of Leonardo’s work, please visit www.montrealnightguide.com and www.montrealconfidential.com